Is it Me, Him, or Us?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Is it Me, Him, or Us?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    MaydayFate
    Participant
    August 21, 2014 at 2:21 pm #59809
    Is it Me, Him, or Us?

    Basically, my bf and I have been together for 3 years In the past summers he has been a total sweetie. Our relationship started off with him texting me 24/7, which I wasn’t used to seeing as I’d only ever had a handful of short relationships. Then recently,around when he turned 18 and graduated everything flipped backwards. It became me texting 24/7 and him just ignoring me with dumb excuses. Then he began going out every night and i became worried. I talked to him about it and he promised it wouldn’t effect us but it has. He never invites me to these parties, he’s done/tried so many drugs that most of his friends have abandoned him, and he’s never really there when i need him). I told myself that I want to stay with him because if the only person he has left leaves him, I worry that he will go off the deep end but lately he just doesn’t seem interested. Lately I feel like I’m questioning everything he says because I can’t trust him to keep his word anymore. How can i fix this>.<


    jackjohns
    Participant
    August 22, 2014 at 1:36 am #59847

    The key is to look out for your own happiness before his. If you’re not ready to take the step to find him help for his drugs don’t just stay around and be miserable until he does. You have to let him know that his actions are hurting you and that you guys need to spread time apart.


    arris524
    Participant
    August 26, 2014 at 7:45 pm #60187

    i wouldnt trust him


    savior15
    Participant
    August 27, 2014 at 7:41 pm #60262

    Seems like you love him enough to stay with him and make sure he’s ok but this seems like it’s been going on for too long. Honey I hate to break it to you but you need to start taking care of ur self and stop being with him. He clearly doesn’t seem
    Like he wants your help or need you! It’s hard love makes you do crazy things but u really need to see what is best for you!


    metfan408
    Participant
    August 27, 2014 at 8:05 pm #60267

    Sounds like him. Has he started doing more drugs or was he always like that?


    Sweetlifevt
    Participant
    September 2, 2014 at 1:33 pm #60528

    Sounds like he’s stringing you along just enough for him to get what he needs from this relationship. He is using you. You aren’t getting what you need from him to have a real relationship.

    It’s not your job to fix him. Only he can fix himself. In fact, by staying in this relationship with him as he spirals downward, you are supporting his destructive behavior.

    You need to back away from him (dump him). Tell him you care for him but will not stand by as he makes these bad decisions. Then it’s your job to not be on contact with him except to tell him you would like to have him back in your life once he straightens himself out again.

    In the meantime, do right for yourself. Have respect for yourself and get away from him. You can get back with him once he show more respect for himself and for you, too.


    blah blah 445
    Participant
    September 2, 2014 at 10:17 pm #60560

    I wouldn’t trust him. If you truely feel for him I wouldn’t give up on him either make him realize what he has I would play hard to get. Two can at that game and then see if he is paying you any attention after that and if he does he must carae for you in some way