Is it over

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Is it over

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2017 at 6:31 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    beck
    Participant
    February 16, 2017 at 12:55 am #127177
    Is it over

    I am 34 and met a woman that was 49 and we hit it off great. Two weeks into dating, I saw her walking with another guy just after we had been walking on a trail together. Later that day, she claimed it was her ex boyfriend, (25 years old), who saw her car parked on the trail, and she was ending it with him and letting him know she had moved on.
    The relationship flourished between us, as we were pretty much always together, and when we weren’t, we’d text or call each other back immediately. However, a few months into it, when we’d be sleeping together, her would call multiple times throughout the night. One time I even swear he pounded on her window. I asked her to block his number, but she said she could never do that to anyone, but she would have a talk with him.


    beck
    Participant
    February 16, 2017 at 1:01 am #127178

    Unfortunately, I made a huge mistake of taking a job 50 miles away and moving up to the city to be closer to work (it was known when we started our relationship this would be happening eventually). Our relationship started surffering, and I even tried ending it before either of us would get hurt, but she tried her best to keep it going, and it flourished again.
    But one weekend, she asked to have her own time. I went down to the city anyways to spend time with other friends, and saw her ex (the 25 year olds car) in her driveway. When I questioned her on it, she claimed they were “just friends” and that I was being paranoid and not trustworthy. We had a bit of a break, but soon maintained a “friendship.” She soon started dropping hints that there may be something more, i.e. spending more time together, talking every night, etc. I decided to move back into town, and she was excited about it.

    Mysterious25
    Mysterious25
    Participant
    February 16, 2017 at 5:07 am #127192

    In my honest opinion, if she really has feelings for you and sees a future with you, she will cut all ties with the ex-boyfriend. It’s not about jealousy or trust, it’s simply the most beautiful gesture you can give someone that you say you love. All relationships have a few insecurities and none of them are perfect but if two people truly care about each other they won’t allow anything or anyone to ruin the love they are trying so hard to build. Just go open-eyed into this new step of your relationship. Don’t let your love for her blind you. Hope all works out!


    beck
    Participant
    February 16, 2017 at 9:17 am #127179

    However, this past weekend, I happened to run into her and the 25 year old on the trail again. I later asked if she would like to hand out in the day and she claimed she couldn’t because she had to help out her son with taxes. However, when I drove by her house (it’s on a main road in town…
    I’m not stalking), the 25 year olds car was there. When I asked her about it, she got very angry with me.

    I guess the writing is on the wall…. or am I being too paranoid.


    beck
    Participant
    February 16, 2017 at 9:18 am #127188

    This past weekend, I happened to run into her and the 25 year old on the trail again. I later asked if she would like to hand out in the day and she claimed she couldn’t because she had to help out her son with taxes. However, when I drove by her house (it’s on a main road in town…
    I’m not stalking), the 25 year olds car was there. When I asked her about it, she got very angry with me.

    I guess the writing is on the wall…. or am I being too paranoid.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    February 16, 2017 at 3:31 pm #127319

    I’m curious to know .. what she has said about the 25 yr old’s car being there?
    I mean firstly.. yo shodlnt’ be driving by all thte time to check up on her – that’s sorta creepy. But i get why you’ve been doign it. But you have to undresatnd that doing that makes them distance themselves from you – whether it is innocent or not.

    So at this point thouh I am totally curious about the 25 yr old and why she says the guy’s car is always there?

    Ultimately if you want to get the truth, i would just sit down with her and talk without accusing her.. and do somethig like this. “Listen.. i have been so happy to be back so we can be togehter again, but if we are to move forward, then neither of us can have secrets or distrust for each other. I trust you. but i can’t account for why 25 yr old’s car is at your house whenevr i end up passing by. What is the reason he is here so i have a full understanding and dont’ need to worry about it or question my trust for you?”

    see what she says.


    beck
    Participant
    February 16, 2017 at 6:24 pm #127374

    I tried that. She got very angry and claimed that they are just friends. I agree with mysterious25…. it sucks, because she really worked hard at winning me over… and I fell for her hard… and then she backed off and started up with the 25 year old again. It’s kinda hard to avoid her house too. It’s on a main road right next to a bridge leading into town. Through no fault of my own I have to drive by it.