Is it real?

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Is it real?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    ck1991
    ck1991
    Participant
    March 18, 2015 at 6:18 pm #75620
    Is it real?

    I have been seeing this guy for about a year now. We have known each other for years though because our families attend the same church. Anyway, it has always been a sexual relationship and we would go to each other’s house to hook up almost every weekend, but it was more than a friends with benefits. We text or talk everyday, do the goodmorning texts thing, but we never go out to eat or to the movies or anything. He claims that’s what he wants to do but it never happens. I feel bad everytime I bring up the fact we don’t do more together other than sex because I feel like I’m nagging him. We have good chemistry and he’s told me he really cares about me, has respect for me, and does have feelings for me like I do for him. But I want a relationship soon and I’m tired of just hooking up. I’m not sure he wants the same though. What should I do?

    • This topic was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by ck1991 ck1991.
    March 19, 2015 at 5:15 pm #75689

    From personal experience, i had this happen to me, only i was in your friends shoes. I did the “friends with benefits” thing for over a year with a girl, and never thought of anything more, because i was getting what i wanted. I didnt have to take her to dinner first, i didnt have to buy her things, the ultimate thing had already happened, we had sex. Eventually, she sent me a long text saying how she was tired of hooking up, and she was falling for me, but like your friend, i was not interested in taking a step backwards when i had achieved the ultimate goal. But hear is where you can turn it around and its simple…ignore him a little and stop giving it up to him! Make a point of being seen in public with someone else…he will go crrazy…trust me!


    Anonymous
    March 20, 2015 at 4:38 pm #75763

    I think that you should either start ignoring him a little and see if he catches on or go for the exact opposite and suggest plans and see what he says. Instead of just making vague plans to get dinner sometime, pick a time and place and see if he would want to go with you. Either way, if you aren’t happy with the way things are you should definitely try a new approach.


    kclaudia
    Participant
    March 20, 2015 at 6:40 pm #75765

    Me too. You get a better one, maybe him 😉

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4L3bfV_ynFw


    miami2014
    Participant
    March 20, 2015 at 7:47 pm #75766

    I agree with those advising you to pull back a bit. It will give him the opportunity to miss you/fear losing you. Give it a shot and see what happens. Let us know how it goes.