Is lowering standards possible?

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Is lowering standards possible?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    da2783
    da2783
    Participant
    September 5, 2015 at 5:12 pm #85160
    Is lowering standards possible?

    I’ve never been that successful with women, long boring story as to why (ultra mentally ill mother basically). I’m in my early 30s now so it’s too late imo to make any changes that will show up in this decade. Online dating not possible, I literally get zero responses (from 50+ women) from normal well thought out messages. Anyways, my question is, is there any way I can find less attractive women attractive? I’m not tall and my hair is thinning so that basically means I need to perform magic tricks to get a good looking girl. I’ve fully accepted that I’m average looking at best, I’m just struggling to feel real attraction to women that are physically in my “league.” I appreciate any thoughts but please don’t leave the “women don’t care about looks” delusions. That’s just feminist propaganda we’re all fed from babies and it’s a complete fantasy. It is the extreme 1% minority to see gorgeous women with unattractive guys. The order of importance is as follows: height, personality, income


    Avey Wilde
    Participant
    September 5, 2015 at 10:37 pm #85166

    With all due respect to you, if you believe that a relationship is defined primarily by physical characteristics such as height or physical attractiveness, then perhaps, in spite of you being in your early thirties, you are not emotionally prepared for a relationship. If you desire a beneficial relationship with a partner, her appearance should be of no significance. She could be the most beautiful women in the world and you would still be miserable together if you did not cooperate or communicate with each other. Similarly, any woman who is not interested in you simply since you are not sufficiently attractive is not worth your time anyway. If a woman truly cared for you and wished to spend time with you, she would not be concerned with either your height, or your hair. This may all seem to be generic to you, yet if you are not willing to examine your own internal beauty or the internal beauty of your potential partners, you may never accept or love yourself or anyone else.

    da2783
    da2783
    Participant
    September 6, 2015 at 1:16 pm #85191

    Well said and you may be right on all points. It’s difficult to ask what I’m trying to learn without getting an understandable but somewhat canned “you must only care about looks” reaction. From what I know, relationships require compassion, romance, and passion. So then, does the healthy individual approach a person they have no physical attraction to, ask themselves, “how can I see the beauty in this person,” and believe that passion has little importance?