October 15, 2016 at 6:10 pm #114216
Sorry for the extensive post, I just wanted to get this off my chest.. During the past few weeks I feel that I’m falling into a huge crush with my female coworker. The girl is 7 years older than me, I’m 29, she’s 36 and married with a child. I’ve worked in the same company before as an intern for a couple of months, this year I got fully employed.
When I first met her there, almost three years ago she was not yet married or had children, and although she was already aiming towards marriage and family, female colleagues always jokingly teased her about her having a hypothetical “crush” on me even though I was too young for her, about how great I was for her etc (this all happened in front of me). Back then there was no actual flirting, just a sense of her being fond of me.
Fast forward to today, we’ve spent the past 4-5 weeks working closely together on a project and I must admit that I’ve fallen for her big time.
October 15, 2016 at 6:13 pm #114217
- This topic was modified 9 months, 2 weeks ago by Nate99.
[Continued] I feel a very strong chemistry between us. During the first few days working with her, while distracted and looking at sth else, we both reached to grab a document from the desk without looking and we accidentally “held hands”, funny thing is it felt so natural, none of us said a word and just withdrew hands after a while, never came up again. She touches my hand and arm occasionally when making a point while talking. There have been two or three occasions where we were talking and looking at each other, then we’d stop talking and she would keep looking into my eyes (for a prolonged time) with great warmth and a very soft and sweet smile on her face, as if she was trying to communicate something to me. Almost as if she was admiring me, as if she couldn’t take her eyes off mine. In these occasions I try my best to hide my feelings by not allowing very long eye-contact..
SuhriteParticipantOctober 16, 2016 at 12:41 am #114225
To be honest, I know it’s hard, but if she’s married, I wouldn’t dwell on it. Even if you’re fine with the ethics of starting an affair, it could end very badly for you as well.
HaniParticipantOctober 17, 2016 at 12:00 am #114246
i don’t think you should try if she’s already married
bellisParticipantOctober 17, 2016 at 6:31 am #114264
I would advice to forget her, rally try to forget all such emotions and concentrate to move on to your own life. That would save regrets of four actors here (you, she, her husband and her child). You will one day regret. I tell that based on my personal story and others I notices over years. Write your own story. Try to reason out and control emotions. Sorry for being frontal.October 17, 2016 at 8:39 am #114219
[Continued] I would never ever get involved with a married woman, I value marriage way too much to betray my own principles and I consider her strictly off limits. I’ve promised myself to forget her and move on, I don’t want to hurt anyone and I honestly wish her the best with her husband and family. I also know she would not betray her husband by seeking an affair, she’s not that kind of person and I know her pretty well. For what it’s worth, my instinct tells me that she likes me in the sense that she would like me to be her boyfriend if the circumstances were different. The thing is, despite all that, I find my self dying to have an answer as to whether she likes me or not, just to have some closure on the issue. I know it doesn’t matter and makes no difference since nothing is never going to happen between us, however I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before and part of me just wants to know, just to accept it for whatever it is and let go…
wankafParticipantOctober 17, 2016 at 10:12 am #114293
i agree with the guys, you should forget her. she is a married woman with a child. just move on. there plenty of girls out there. go an find a nice girl. you missed your chance it’s your fault. don’t try to fix your mistake by making another one. i know that you have difficult time, but she is now from the past. you need to know that and move on.
CyKingsParticipantOctober 17, 2016 at 12:56 pm #114332
Rule #1 in life ….. never ever pass up a sure thing.
Whether or not she is married is on her and not on you. Firstly you know nothing about the relationship. Perhaps they have an open relationship, perhaps they allow each other to have fun with other people. Never assume anything.
If I was you I wouldnt expect more than a pure sexual relationship with her.
So ask her if she wants to have some fun, no strings attached, and go from there. The worst she can say is no and then the answer is clear. But if she says yes, then enjoy life to the fullest and never pass up a good memory in life.
MilitantMaladiesParticipantOctober 18, 2016 at 4:22 am #114408
But she has a child. let’s say she’s in to you, are you ready for that kind of drama in your life right now? and she’s married. Those are major red flags. If I’m in your situation I will step back away from it. But that’s just me.
NancyShawnParticipantOctober 18, 2016 at 4:45 am #114409
Do you really love her? And what is the reason that she can’t get along with you not get married with other man?
jennablack2ParticipantOctober 20, 2016 at 1:27 pm #114756
Honestly i’: leave her alone
magnetoParticipantOctober 21, 2016 at 2:43 am #114829
If she’s taken then she’s taken. You would have to wait and see if that situation changes before you do anything.
veo_88ParticipantOctober 22, 2016 at 11:53 pm #114971
I agree. If she’s taken she’s taken.
johno3000ParticipantOctober 24, 2016 at 7:41 am #114994
All moral questions aside you can do no wrong in showing your interest, the rest is up to her.
To reiterate the warnings of other posters you could be walking into a very messy situation so decide if you really want that kind of drama in your life.
1peep1ParticipantOctober 24, 2016 at 8:15 pm #115142
I’d recommend as others have said…… the risk is too great for yourself, her and the child.
sure you could have fun but there are many other ladies for that and if you truly believe you’re meant to be that’s fine too but based on what you have said I don’t think that’s the case and to repeat it is emotionally high risk!
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