Is she truly friendzoning me or is she confused/keeping her options open with me

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Is she truly friendzoning me or is she confused/keeping her options open with me

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2017 at 8:25 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!


    JohnPennington
    Participant
    December 8, 2015 at 10:27 pm #89773
    Is she truly friendzoning me or is she confused/keeping her options open with me

    To start, Im 24 so Im not looking for a “married and white picket fence” relationship. I’m still trying to have fun and I really had fun with this girl.

    Me and this girl were seeing eachother. For the time we were seeing eachother i’d say we were friends with benefits since we did hook up a few times. We met in early November. (she initiated the first date) and we continued seeing eachother for the following three weeks. I went to her house and every time I went there we slept together.

    She then randomly ran into her ex who lives about an hour away who she never thought she would even see again, they hung out and hooked up and she says theyre “trying to work things back together.” apparently she really loved him the first time but there were irreconcilable problems. But theyre trying again.


    JohnPennington
    Participant
    December 8, 2015 at 10:27 pm #89774

    While it was a big slap in my face, when she told me this news she also told me it wouldn’t be right for me and her to continue seeing eachother. She also said she wouldn’t want me to wait around for her because she says I deserve to be “happy” because Im a great guy. She kept saying how bad she felt and how she really did like me. Then, several days later, she texted me out of the blue to see how I was doing. She then texted me a few days after that, asking the same thing. I told her not to text me out of pity. She said she wasn’t texting me out of pity she wants to still be “friendly”. She said “I never said that I don’t like you or that I don’t think about you. It’s just a really rough situation.” And that she wouldn’t stop talking to me unless I wanted to. Ive been having some problems with my life and she told me “then talk to me about. I told you id still be there for you. Theres no reason why you cant talk to me.” Etc.


    JohnPennington
    Participant
    December 8, 2015 at 10:27 pm #89775

    Since the whole thing with her ex went down, I’ve been trying to keep my distance. Not texting her unless she texts me. Which she still does frequently. And even then I sometimes text back maybe an hour later. I figured if I slob all over her I’m leaving the ball in her court.

    In my mind this isn’t your typical “friendzone” because I believe she’s honest when she says she really does like me and think about me.

    What do you think her intentions are? Does she really just want to be friends or is she trying to keep me as an option in case her relationship falls through again?


    LouisAP
    Participant
    December 10, 2015 at 12:52 pm #89905

    You are definitely justified in thinking that she may be trying to keep her options open at this point while she decides how things go with her ex-ex. This is especially true since she is saying she won’t see you but wants to keep you “in orbit” as it were. You could try to wait it out, keep doing what you’re doing and see if those irreconcilable differences come up again, but I would not recommend it. If you want to move on, you need to cut yourself off from her. Send her a text with something like, “I appreciate you saying you would still be there for me right now, but staying in touch with you has made it too difficult for me to move on. I need space now and I would appreciate it if you did not text me anymore.” This lets you take the high road by acknowledging what she said before while sending a clear and sincere message about your need to find someone for yourself. Good luck.