Is there a way to come back from being too sexual too soon?

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Is there a way to come back from being too sexual too soon?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Nopenopenope
    Participant
    February 9, 2015 at 5:50 am #72872
    Is there a way to come back from being too sexual too soon?

    I’ve recently been dating this girl. She’s the first girl that I’ve dated in a long time who I actually like and would like more than just a first date with. However, our second date she stayed at my place and things got a little physical. We didn’t actually have sex but there was a lot of foreplay. Also, I told her that I liked to be dominant and pinned her down a little, which she seemed to like at the time.
    She then went quiet on me for about 8 days. I sent her two messages during this time, one to arrange our next date and then a few days later, I said “I thought things were going well, what happened?”
    She sent back this:


    Nopenopenope
    Participant
    February 9, 2015 at 5:51 am #72873

    “Hey…sorry for delayed response, I guess I just found it too much, maybe I’m not as ok as I thought, and I think, although nothing happened, staying the night was a mistake. It was just too much and I felt like a sex etc was expected of me ( I realise you weren’t expecting that that night and you did respect my wish not to so Thankyou) and things like oral sex/domination etc I would want to learn to like with somebody I have built up trust with and I don’t want to feel pressured into things like that. Domination especially I feel requires a foundation of trust I don’t enjoy being pinned down/restrained by somebody I’m just getting to know. I thought I might as well be frank and honest as you seem awesome and deserve a response! aside from the sex side of things I got on with you very well and enjoyed your company Thankyou for a good evening and you’re welcome to the bottle of Jack” (she left a bottle of Jack Daniels at my place)


    Nopenopenope
    Participant
    February 9, 2015 at 8:54 am #72875

    I respond with quite a lengthy and honest response saying that I didn’t mean to push things too far, too soon but I was a bit nervous and my ex was into that kind of thing and I foolishly assumed this new girl would be. That in reality I just wanted to be a bit affectionate and get to know her better. In response, she said this:

    “Aw that was a really nice message Thankyou, glad I said it’s obviously a case of crosses wires. Sorry it took me a while I wasn’t sure how to word it. And it’s never fair just to leave somebody wondering what the fuck happened. Please don’t feel terrible or suchlike, I didn’t feel unsafe. I think the ole all girls catholic school did it’s job…I’m not very good at going from 0-60 with having sex, I take a while. And I had on the whole a brilliant time, you have an awesome sense of humour. Haha that damned cold sore, which I’m not convinced is such…I hope not. Not I can see the difficulty, you couldn’t win either way really tricky! Haha yes ironic well…


    Nopenopenope
    Participant
    February 9, 2015 at 8:54 am #72874

    I respond with quite a lengthy and honest response saying that I didn’t mean to push things too far, too soon but I was a bit nervous and my ex was into that kind of thing and I foolishly assumed this new girl would be. That in reality I just wanted to be a bit affectionate and get to know her better. In response, she said this: