Is this disaster I created salvageable?

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Is this disaster I created salvageable?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    nerratee
    Participant
    June 4, 2015 at 10:50 am #80147
    Is this disaster I created salvageable?

    I met a great guy online last week. Our first date went really well and we agreed to meet up again on that Friday. That’s when he expressed that he liked me a lot and that he didn’t want to lose me so we both deleted our profiles. I was still leery though because we had sex and after he started ignoring my text messages on Monday, my suspicions were heightened.

    My intuition led me to his house where I saw that he had a girl over. Their hug goodbye looked really platonic–not the way we said goodbye, but still I went to confront him after she had left. Based on his calm reaction, I felt really silly. He explained that the girl was a friend who had just crashed the night before. In spite of this, I still like him and didn’t want things to be over. I wish that we had talked about it under more normal circumstances but he said that I was crazy for invading his space. Later he said that he doesn’t think we should see each other anymore. I still like him and regret what happened.

    Badass
    Badass
    Participant
    June 8, 2015 at 8:36 am #80372

    You only know him a short time, so it does look stalkers sh, and creepy. You may need to give him space to peruse you. If you haven’t already apologized for being upset with him, and not trusting him I would do that. You are getting way serious right off the bat. All you can do I say how you think he is a great guy, and you hope you didn’t mess things up. I think he was clear tho when he said he didn’t think he should see you anymore. It sucks, I had a guy do that, we aren’t together. Guys usually mean what they say,vespecially goodbye. Lesson learned. The next guy maybe try taking things slow, and definitely don’t show up and go off on him at his house. I’ve done similar stuff.. So lesson for me too.


    JeffS
    Participant
    June 9, 2015 at 10:58 am #80494

    I would text him and apologize, admit that you were completely out of line, hopefully he’s willing to give you another chance, if he doesn’t you need to stay away from him or you run the risk of getting a restraining order and/or criminal charges.

    Superclean
    Superclean
    Participant
    June 20, 2015 at 12:15 pm #81378

    I would have to agree. You waited a bit. You can try to text and apologize. The problem is he may have a preconceived notion. He may think “well if she is willing to show up like that now, what happens later?” You’ll have to see if he comes back.


    wingywong
    Participant
    July 3, 2015 at 2:39 pm #81974

    hi nerratee i think you jumped the gun on this early by thinking you have a boyfriend so now you have a messy situation on your hands because you confronted him about it. a first date doesn’t mean you are automatically in a relationship and sleeping with him doesn’t mean anything either. it just means you gave him sex. and you didn’t allow him to prove himself as relationship material before you confronted him about being close to this girl he hugged b/c you are not in a relationship with him at all.


    actionspeaks
    Participant
    July 22, 2015 at 11:42 am #83130

    I agree, definitely recognize that the newness of everything sometimes leads to impulsive actions. Everyone slips up but from his view what he sees in the beginning tells him it might only get more extreme so exit now. If you feel its worth putting yourself out there then I would try to admit you see the misstep and explain why but if he still says no this is going to have to be a live and learn moment I think.