Is this real love, immature infatuation, obsession or what?

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Is this real love, immature infatuation, obsession or what?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    DGOMAR
    Participant
    July 16, 2016 at 9:55 am #105466
    Is this real love, immature infatuation, obsession or what?

    Hello. I’m in my late 30s. I moved to my actual city four years ago and only have one best friend who is not gay. I feel very lonely and needy. Two months ago, I decided to organize a social meetup group for men to make new friends. I didn’t create the group for dating, just for social and it has been successful so far. Here is when the problem starts. I feel attracted to one of the members. He moved to the city a year ago and doesn’t have friends. During the weekend of July 4th we went together to the bars Saturday and Sunday night and then to see the fireworks Monday night…. continue below


    DGOMAR
    Participant
    July 16, 2016 at 9:57 am #105467

    I started to have feelings for him after that weekend. I don’t feel lust, just romantic love like when I was a kid. I’m curious because I was masturbating the other day while watching porn and didn’t think of him at all, but my heart races and I get very anxious when I think of him. I want to conquer him. It seems that he enjoy my company because otherwise he wouldn’t go out with me more than one time, but I’m not completely sure if he can reciprocate at this time. I’m an attractive chubby bear and I often find admirers among bears, but this guy is not into the bear subculture so I don’t know if I’m his kind of body. We have been in a bear bar and he seems to feel comfortable, but when I ask him if he finds someone attractive at the bar he says that nobody.
    I feel motivated to lose weight and improve myself in other aspects. I want to be “dateable”. I haven’t had those kind of feelings since I was adolescent. Is this an immature infatuation, obsession or love?