It's Either Him, Or Me.

DATING ADVICE FORUM

It's Either Him, Or Me.

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    Animal1
    Participant
    July 25, 2015 at 3:36 am #83233
    It's Either Him, Or Me.

    Hi all,

    So about 6 months ago, I met a girl, we’ll call her T, who had moved to the U.S. from Hungary a year earlier. We are in almost constant contact, have a very strong connection and have both confessed serious feelings for one another. Amazing girl, beautiful inside and out. It would be great if that were the end of the story, but it gets more complicated.

    After T moved the the U.S. and before we met, she had rekindled things with an ex. T’s plan was to wait until this December when her ex will actually visit the U.S. so that they can try their relationship in person for one month. If the one month goes well, the ex is planning on moving here to be with T. This would have been all fine and dandy for T, but…. then I came along.

    It has gotten to the point where I want her to be mine and am ready to fully commit to a relationship with her. She is confused and not sure what to do because she has been waiting for her ex for over a year.


    Animal1
    Participant
    July 27, 2015 at 8:21 am #83234

    Continued….

    I do not want to be selfish, but I can’t resist her, just as she can’t resist me. I am not sure if I should give her more space so that she can try things with this man she has been waiting for, or should I give her the ultimatum: It’s him, or me?

    This has been such a weight on both of our hearts.


    Animal1
    Participant
    July 27, 2015 at 8:21 am #83235

    My question is, do you think I should give her the ultimatum, it’s him or me? Or should I give the the space to let her decide in her own time, even if that means her dating him for a month. My concern is that if she waits until December to see him, I would lose complete interest as she did not chose me.


    hopelessromantic85
    Participant
    July 27, 2015 at 8:22 am #83261

    Man that sucks, I know it must hurt that she’s even considering reconciling with her ex. But only you can decide if she’s worth waiting for. If it were me, I’d try the dating scene while she’s trying things out with her ex. Maybe she’ll get jealous and decide she doesn’t want to let you slip away. Good luck my friend and if doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be. Keep your chin up and be confident ?

    Kaitlin71
    Kaitlin71
    Participant
    July 28, 2015 at 5:04 am #83340

    I think you should just stay friends with her and let her decide. Let her take that month but DON’T stop talking to her! If you tell her “it’s him or me” she will pick him and then will not think she has a chance with you if something bad happens and if she chooses you she might resent you and will always just think “what if”. Like I said don’t stop talking to her. She needs you to stay in her life one way or the other so she can see if you are what she really wants. Let her make this decision but show her you’re serious about her and show her you are what she wants! Flirt and be a gentlemen. And whatever happens I wish you the best!