Keeping a relationship after cheating?

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Keeping a relationship after cheating?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    seekinghelp
    Participant
    December 20, 2014 at 9:20 pm #69508
    Keeping a relationship after cheating?

    I started dating my current boyfriend while we were both working out of state. I had to move back home for an injury (in another state), and after a few months of recovery went out to visit him/live with him. Before I went out things got a little wierd, just distant and I blamed distance. And when I got out there I asked him if he was dating anyone else and he said no. After looking through his phone, I found out that he had lied and was seeing a new girl he works with (the same place I had worked at). I flew back home immediately and he never even sent so much as a text asking me to stay. Two weeks later he called and apologized for hours saying he wanted to get back together with me. I said yes, he flew to see me and its been going a lot better since. However, he still works with the girl, he said he’s hung out with her in group settings and he gets mad and flustered that I will never get over it when I ask about who hes with. What he did still eats at me, should it? What should i do


    allthatjazz21
    Participant
    December 21, 2014 at 1:46 pm #69523

    I also had a similar issue. Moved to South Africa for a year while still dating a guy, figure out he’s been sleeping around for the last 7 months of me being gone. I confronted him about it, and we broke up soon after. Once I got back he came knocking on my door again being all sweet and supportive, I was dealing with depression and unable to make good decisions, and got back together with him. It was a disaster. THe entire relationship I could never “settle in” to trusting him and was always suspicious. After only a month I couldn’t take it anymore and broke up because it was killing me inside to feel so torn between someone who seemed to love me so much and my inability to feel at home or trust him.

    Moral of the story, be honest with yourself. Can you trust him? Is there anything you can do to trust him again? If not, get out now instead of drawing out the painful process. Trust, commitment, communication and respect are what relationships are made of.


    loveisreal
    Participant
    December 23, 2014 at 2:27 pm #69569

    It will be difficult, but if you feel that you can trust him then I don’t see why not.


    ClearAsMud
    Participant
    May 11, 2015 at 9:52 am #78722

    Trust is a BIG issue once it’s broken! IF you can forgive, TRY it again, but beware those thoughts in the back of your mind will always resurface!

    brokenhearted
    brokenhearted
    Participant
    May 16, 2015 at 10:56 am #79133

    yes those thoughts will always be their,hidding things from you,is he still talking to her n tellin me hes not and all that,its gonna take alot of time to even get alittle of trustin him back n if you see little read flags n your gut fealing its always right,walk away before you heart gets broken again.


    90dayfiance
    Participant
    May 16, 2015 at 7:15 pm #79152

    It is really hard to trust again but you accepted him back so you have to make him see that you trust in him but if your instict tells you that there is something wrong then that relationship should need to be parted.


    trevorphillips
    Participant
    May 16, 2015 at 8:02 pm #79154

    How long were you together?


    bcoant26
    Participant
    May 16, 2015 at 11:42 pm #79161

    cheating is always and end of the relationship for me


    Anonymous
    May 17, 2015 at 9:24 pm #79177

    It is up to the cheating degree. If you still like him, you should forgive that.


    Fairy93
    Participant
    May 20, 2015 at 2:23 pm #79414
    Reply To: Keeping a relationship after cheating?

    Wrong!


    Foxy1024
    Participant
    July 3, 2015 at 7:40 am #81967
    Reply To: Keeping a relationship after cheating?

    I am currently in a similar relationship… Attempting to pick up the pieces. I’ve researched & actually found some good tips & advice on how to go about trying to continue a relationship that has been rocked by cheating & it is extremely difficult to get over the fact that you were betrayed & lied to. Until you can move past that fact tho, you’ll never be able to move your relationship any further than where you were when it all happened..


    malibu123
    Participant
    July 8, 2015 at 1:42 pm #82299
    Reply To: Keeping a relationship after cheating?

    If you truly love him, you need to sit down and think about whether you’ll ever be able to fully trust him again. If the answer is no, you should end the relationship now because you will always be wondering what he’s doing/who he’s with, and that’s not good for a healthy relationship.


    Mr Clean 88
    Participant
    July 8, 2015 at 5:49 pm #82407
    Reply To: Keeping a relationship after cheating?

    Here is some wisdom that has proven true for me, time and again. To predict what someone will do in the future, simply look at what they have done in the past. They have done it once, they will do it again. The only difference will be that it gets easier for them every time.


    sunshine0716
    Participant
    July 10, 2015 at 11:05 am #82598
    Reply To: Keeping a relationship after cheating?

    I don’t know how long you guys have been together but if you love each other things will work out. Now if you find out he is still dating her, then you should let him go. He is probably lonely without you there. I know that sounds like a crazy excuse but that’s my opinion.


    mldfw
    Participant
    July 11, 2015 at 9:37 am #82645
    Reply To: Keeping a relationship after cheating?

    Everyone is different. I find that mistakes/on purposes which cannot be forgiven easily usually come back as a weapon or excuse for why things aren’t working. My husband cheated (not all the way, but when your kid comes to you with the phone to show you the texts…). He was unrepentant and told me I was exaggerating….that was kindof the end of everything.

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