September 2, 2016 at 9:22 am #110390
I have known this guy for three years now, I’m in my late 20’s and he is early 30’s. We started as colleagues and gradually became really good friends. We are no longer working together as both of us moved into a new company / job so we are no longer spending as much time as we’re use to.
He always been very caring and protector towards me, maybe a bit more than with the rest of group for example giving me his jumper when feeling cold or during night out making sure that I would not get annoyed by random guys etc.
He is a long term relationship but not a very happy one, she doesn’t live in the same country as him and they don’t see each other a lot (its ben going on for about 5/6 years now).
We saw each other about 2 weeks ago for a birthday of a friend – and after not seeing each other for about 2 month. He kept on saying that he missed me and we chatted a lot and had a good time. I left quit early (before everyone was drunk including myself!) and we kiss me twice on bothSeptember 2, 2016 at 9:28 am #110392
cheeks and then forehead before I go. And since then I’m even more confused, are we friend or doesn’t he want more ?
He is really nice and not the type of guy to be unfaithful but I know that he thinks he is not attractive and that if he break up with his current girlfriend he will not find a new one. He told me one day he got rejected few times by before finding his actual girlfriend and that ‘pretty girls like you don’t go with a guy like me’.
I do care a lot about him and don’t want to loose him as a friend.
Most of our friends have mentioned severals time to me that, him & I should be together and we are often the subject of their jokes. I don’t know what to think really.. Am I reading into this a bit too much ?September 6, 2016 at 8:48 am #110397
Another example that he has done in the past: going on holiday and bringing back something to our offices to share with colleagues but knowing that I will like it i.e food, wines and leaving it on my desk.
TerryParticipantSeptember 6, 2016 at 2:53 pm #110604
Next time you see him:
If he’s friendly and seems interested in you, gently ask how things are going with his girlfriend. If he says they’re not going well, ask him why he stays in a relationship that doesn’t make him happy. If he says that he’ll have a hard time finding a girlfriend if he breaks up with this one, ask him that’s a good reason to stay.
(Is it fair to him? Is it fair to her?)
Listen carefully to his answer.
If you like his answer, you can say, “Well, if things don’t work out between you, I might be interested.”
Then see what he does next.
Bottom line: If he likes you (it sounds as though he does), he needs to break up with his girlfriend. it’s not nice tying someone up because he’s afraid he’ll end up alone. It’s not nice playing with your emotions either. He needs to step up.
Be direct with him. If you lose him as a friend, he wasn’t much of a friend to begin with.
Good luck! 🙂
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