Late bloomer in the dating world

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Late bloomer in the dating world

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    tuna1987
    tuna1987
    Participant
    August 21, 2014 at 12:14 pm #59786
    Late bloomer in the dating world

    Hi, I’m new to this forum and I need help regarding dating, and I want to be with someone someday, but I have a problem.
    I’m a 27 year old male, and I’ve never had a girlfriend. If I go out on a date with a girl and she asks me about my previous relationships and I tell her that I never been in one, is it any girl’s deal breaker, and if so, is there hope for me to date or pursue a relationship as I get older? I need some honest opinions, that would gladly help.


    tara
    Participant
    August 22, 2014 at 11:21 pm #59880

    Well I’m 33 and never had a boyfriend. I have had first dates, but they never lead anywhere. Either the guy’s not interested in me, or I’m not interested in the guy and I’m not the type to lead a guy on just so I can have relationship experience.

    Not having been in a relationship isn’t a deal breaker for me, but a guy needs to at least not be socially awkard. In other words, he needs to know how to keep a conversation going, he needs to be able to take the lead and make first moves (text me, call me, ect), he needs to be the one to initiate a first kiss. Those things may be hard if you’ve never been in a relationship before. I went out recently with a very shy and socially akward guy who’s never dated or had a relationship before, and I could tell he just didn’t know what to do. Even conversation was hard for him.

    When I have gone out on dates I don’t talk about past “relationships”. I say I’ve dated some, but just haven’t found the right guy yet. I don’t get into details.


    massman31
    Participant
    August 23, 2014 at 11:45 am #59885

    Have you ever tried a dating site to see whats out there? That way you can talk to someone before going out to find out that person is socially awkward. Its not only about you in the relationship its a two way street.


    Me by the bay
    Participant
    August 23, 2014 at 10:47 pm #59893

    OK. You first need to examine why you have never had a girlfriend at age 27. Perhaps you are just a late bloomer. It is a scientific fact many men do not fully mature until they are in their late 20’s due to the manner in which their fontal lobes form, combined with environmental factors. When this physiological process happens, the true man often emerges, calms down, focuses on what is important in life and becomes the best version of himself. I think online dating is for people that have more experience in dating than you do, so I would recommend that you select your future dates from face to face activities you have in your daily life such as: church events, art walks, fund raising events, book groups, gardening groups, college/adult education events (if appropriate), music events, sports, etc. Look to your weekly schedule and look at what you like or would like to do and where you can meet people the old fashioned way. When asked dating # questions, just smile and change subjects.


    zekethebro
    Participant
    August 24, 2014 at 12:51 pm #59936

    what he said haha^

    snakes251
    snakes251
    Participant
    August 24, 2014 at 4:57 pm #59941

    I would view this as a resume with little experience that you should play up and expand upon. What I would do talk about your previous dating relationships–use those words, and discuss the highlights of those. Don’t go into exactly how long these lasted, but if it comes up, use some generic figure like “a few months.” Then move into what you learned from them, and where you are today. It’ll look like you’ve had some practical experience (which you have, just playing it up). The thing with those initial dates that lead (hopefully) to a relationship is that you want to be your best self. Just like when you wear your best outfits to the interview–it’s all about making that good first impression. Best of luck, buddy!


    diva820
    Participant
    August 25, 2014 at 8:53 am #59954

    First, there is always hope and it’s never too late to date. Second, some women may be intrigued that they could become your first girlfriend, but they may question why you haven’t had a serious relationship before. So-o-o, don’t disclose unnecessary details as to why you haven’t had a gf. It could be personal, you were focused on your career or school, you weren’t interested at the time, whatever it is, just say it and leave it alone. If it’s something that you need to work on to become more confident about dating, work on YOU to become a better dater or possible mate, but just don’t over share information to the point that it becomes a turnoff. I wish you luck because everyone truly deserves love, and YOU will.

    tuna1987
    tuna1987
    Participant
    August 26, 2014 at 1:38 pm #60160

    THANKS guys. I was concerned about that because I know it’s not good to talk about past relationships, but women tend to ask men about past relationships as a test or something and I waned to dodge the questions but I was worried that women might egg me on about it like I’m hiding something. I just don’t want to be rejected and hope they give me a chance because I believe that I am a good catch.


    chaseistheman
    Participant
    August 26, 2014 at 5:12 pm #60168
    Reply To: Late bloomer in the dating world

    Ya I totally agree he is so right


    kaloslee
    Participant
    August 27, 2014 at 1:39 am #60190
    Reply To: Late bloomer in the dating world

    For the most part. Just because you have yet to be in a relationship does not mean its a bad thing. Hell I just got my first girl friend recently.. shes had many boy friends.


    Anonymous
    September 3, 2014 at 1:06 am #60571
    Reply To: Late bloomer in the dating world

    I am in the same boat as you bro 😡

    TheseekerGerrit
    TheseekerGerrit
    Participant
    September 3, 2014 at 6:03 am #60577
    Reply To: Late bloomer in the dating world

    same boat here and never been to the whole dating process

    December 22, 2014 at 6:49 pm #69549
    Reply To: Late bloomer in the dating world

    Whenever I hear of a woman being a late bloomer in the dating world, I find it very surprising because it seems there are more male late bloomers than female late bloomers because guys have to be the initiators, and women are valued for their youth more than men are due to the evolutionary theory fertility.