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EllsParticipantJanuary 17, 2013 at 10:14 pm #20799
This guy and I met online on okcupid about seven months ago we began texting a few days after our first time chatting on there. Initially we both agreed we mutually liked each other and wanted to meet in person to make sure we were compatible. Well after about three months of texting and skyping etc. we still had not met for a few reasons:
1. He lives an hour and a half away
2. I work late nights and he works mornings
3. He is doing clinical work for his career since he is upon graduation in the next few months and he also works at a hospital to actually make money.
—( continued) he began acting strange and would never text me first and would only give me short responses to my messages. I asked him finally if he was still interested or if I did something to make him mad. His initial response was that he was dealing with stuff from his past which later he told me was him starting to like his friend who is identified as straight, but he does interesting things that makes him question his friends sexual identity. He had liked his friend before, but had gotten over him when the friend got into a relationship with a girl anyways I told him I was okay with just being friends or whatever even though he knew I still liked him. I have tried several times to finally meet and he has always said he was busy and would apologize. I am concerned he may not like me at all as even a friend and just tolerates me and will keep me waiting until I eventually give up. We usually text daily if not 4 or 5 days out of the week and we have really gotten to know alot about each other. I have asked him out before and he didn’t say no he said he wanted to be sure he was ready for a relationship first. Any insight on this and what should I do?
AnonymousJanuary 21, 2013 at 6:24 pm #20847
Hmm, well he down right told you he doesn’t have time or you, I’d try to walk away. If he has a lot on his plate now, just accept it because if he’s going through a few things there’s no point in trying to squeeze yourself into his life if he won’t even let you in past “friend” mode. Easier said than done by try your hardest to accept that you’re at different places in your life. I think you guys took so long to try and meet that he grew a little bored of it and started to look around in the area :/
BlockBurger34ParticipantJanuary 24, 2013 at 10:36 am #21080
I’ve seen a lot of gay guys find hope in “converting” a straight guy so it becomes a game of cat-chases-mouse. He probably enjoys the thrill and looks for a reason to stick around his straight friend in light of any questionable behavior…this guy you’ve met online is clearly still unsure of what he wants. He still can’t sit down and at least list qualities of men he is looking for.
I don’t think he’s interested in investing in a long distance relationship (although it’s only 2 hrs away) since he’s unsure of what he even wants. I’d say try to find matches locally so you can spend time with them in person.
Online dating doesn’t mean you “date online” you meet ppl online and then date offline.
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