Limited success, looking for tips on how to improve

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Limited success, looking for tips on how to improve

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    JeffS
    Participant
    March 30, 2015 at 3:40 am #76266
    Limited success, looking for tips on how to improve

    Ok so I have been single since last June. I have been dating a few women but nothing ever came of it, I didn’t feel they were good matches, I am still friends with some of them. Currently, I am trying to date as frequently as possible since I am I guess frustrated at my inability to land a relationship online or otherwise. Women often tell me I am good looking, my life is together in every way so I don’t think that would be the issue. I would say I am socially awkward tho and it seems a lot of women are intimidated by me. I think I am a really nice guy and the only reason I can think they would be intimidated is my size or being a combat veteran – I am 6’1 235 lbs 8% bodyfat. I don’t talk about the military until I get to know someone well and if they don’t like me for my size nothing I’m gonna do about that. A lot of dates ignore me outright, others tell me that they had a great time, thank me for the night.


    JeffS
    Participant
    March 30, 2015 at 3:56 am #76267

    Usually most dates that appear to go well, I get a text as soon as they get home thanking me for a good time, etc. I then tell them I hope to see them again soon. About 75% of the women who said they hope to see me again I get the impression duck me when I actually ask them out on a second date. They either ignore the text, reply a few days too late or make up excuses but suggest they are still interested (repeatedly).

    So as far as the date goes, that either is going to work out or it’s not. But how can I handle texts after what seemed to be a good date to setup a second date? I mean how long should I wait to ask her out again, should I make conversation in between or not? Is this common that most women on online dating sites have no integrity or respect for people?

    Hope this all makes sense, its 3:57 am

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  JeffS.

    DKing3
    Participant
    March 30, 2015 at 9:05 pm #76315

    As far as the women on dating sites having no integrity or respect, I have noticed that too TONS!! Their profiles make em out to seem like these really nice awesome girls when they turn out to just be the complete opposite!! And man I am kind of in a similar boat as you are now! Trying to get dates and look for a serious relationship and it never goes my way. Always think it goes well but turns out to turn to shit and bite me back in the ass and the girl is never really as interested as I thought… I feel ya. But that is where I had been doing it wrong! Cuz I had been LOOKING and SEARCHING and wanting a relationship. THing is from my experience, it seems as though you cannot just rely on this much if at all, you just have to let things kinda happen naturally. Maybe take a break from all the looking and instead just be yourself and live life for you instead of trying to find someone else right away. Maybe get into some hobbies if you are not in some already. Try to meet some new…


    DKing3
    Participant
    March 30, 2015 at 9:08 pm #76316

    people, not as someone to date, but just as a friend at first! Then if you guys seem to hit it off after a little while, then move into more serious stuff and let it all happen naturally. Believe me I know that it can be so tedious and slow because it is tough and you just wanna get to the relationship stuff. But I think that it may be worth a shot if nothin else! Hope this helped and good luck man!!


    DKing3
    Participant
    March 30, 2015 at 9:20 pm #76317

    **By getting into hobbies, maybe that way you can find people who share a similar interest/passion as you!


    JeffS
    Participant
    March 31, 2015 at 10:21 am #76335

    Thanks for the reply. Yea, I guess most people command no respect because they give no respect. Anonymity can provide you with a good test of someone’s character.

    As far as hobbies go, mountain climbing, weight lifting, running, photography, reading, going to the bar and hanging out with friends. Would be nice if I could meet someone who would do these things with me. Thinking maybe singles groups that do an activity might be a good idea. I don’t think the bar or gym are good ways to meet anyone tho I have dated women from the gym before. You talk sometimes when you are there for 2 hours a day, every day but its not a good place to just walk up to strangers.