Long distance

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Long distance

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    unsure
    Participant
    September 27, 2014 at 4:27 pm #64950
    Long distance

    I’ve recently started dating my best friend from college, conveniently right before I transferred to a school much further away. I know he loves me and cares about me, but I feel like he doesn’t make a very good effort to visit me. we are only two hours apart. he works weekends at his bartending job, which he hates, so I understand that he has a hard time finding a free weekend. but this past weekend I offered to come home because his family (whom I’ve met) was having a small birthday party for him. I assumed i’d be invited to this but apparently not. He’s very shy about bringing me around his family even though ive stressed that I don’t mind and am happy as long as i’m with him. he’d rather wait until we can see each other without parents around which is hard when he lives at home. I haven’t seen him in a month and probably wont for another month. I cant tell him how if feel because it’ll just turn into a fight I cant win. what do I do? 🙁


    happysliceoflife
    Participant
    September 27, 2014 at 5:03 pm #64952

    Give hime a little more time to get his act together toward you, but at the same time start looking for a man near you that can satisfy your needs, you deserve to have someone you can count on. Only way a long distance affair can work is if the two of you are passionate, and from the sound of it he is not. You are best friends, you don’t want to become a once in a while booty call.


    Parker0065
    Participant
    September 27, 2014 at 7:58 pm #64955

    From my time in the military service I had a couple long distance relationships and from my own and others experience I can say the failure rate for long distance relationships is about 90%. It’s really tough and I have to somewhat agree with “happysliceoflife” in that if your young and not getting what you need from your far away lover then it’s purely human nature that you would find someone there to meet you needs of love and affection.

    Real love isn’t something you can just manufacture and hold onto. If it’s real it will prevail but if you feel like you can’t be honest with him without starting a fight then it might be time to look elsewhere!

    Parker

    lisa
    lisa
    Participant
    September 30, 2014 at 1:11 am #65041

    If you’ve talked to him several times about meeting his family and he still won’t budge, then it may be time to let him go. On one hand, he may be avoiding the meet-and-greet because his family is KRA-ZY, but on the other hand, he isn’t ready to introduce you as a girlfriend (for whatever reason). If I were in your position, I would get really busy pretty quickly. Hang with your girls focus on your studies, whatever it takes to pull away from thinking about your guy. Guys usually want to know that you’ll be OK without them, but they don’t want you not to need them. If he is really into you, then he’ll step up and make an effort to visit or let you visit. But take my advice with a grain of salt. If I were an expert, I wouldn’t be here myself.


    unsure
    Participant
    September 30, 2014 at 6:39 pm #65120

    thank you guys! I have met his family twice, so it’s not that he doesn’t want to introduce me as his girlfriend, his family is just much different about the way boyfriends and girlfriends interact with the family. its more like in a movie where the parents meet the guy when he’s preparing to propose or something. I think I may be overreacting a bit but it just clashes so much with what i’m used to. i’m trying very hard not to compare him to past relationships because that is dangerous. all of your inputs are valuable because they all represent one third of the way I am thinking about things. I’m gonna keep on trucking and hope that things work out in the end 🙂 Thank you!