Long Distance confusion

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Long Distance confusion

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    October 10, 2017 at 11:35 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    keythinaz
    Participant
    August 2, 2017 at 9:24 am #143959
    Long Distance confusion

    Met 3 1/2 months ago online.1900 miles apart. 2 visits. He paid to visit and have me visit. We have talked, video chatted, texted every single day since. Both in are 50’s. He was in a 17yr relationship.2 years single. Me, single for 17. He is a action over words type guy, I am both.We have not had sex despite 9 sleeping nights together. It’s on my part that we haven’t.
    I think I have messed this up but he’s hanging in there.
    What’s wrong with me ?


    keythinaz
    Participant
    August 2, 2017 at 9:36 am #143962

    part #2…
    I led a full sexual life only meeting, dating one person in 17 years after the death of my partner of 9.years. He leads a full rounded gay life with friends and family. I lead a life of no gay friends and only straight friends who I am out to plus my family.
    He is quiet, very low key, very thoughtful, polite and very attentive. I am quiet but silly at times and much more talkative.
    I have fallen for him.


    keythinaz
    Participant
    August 3, 2017 at 9:16 am #143977

    I thought it too quick but he came to visit me within the 1st month. After meeting, talking, doing some things it was time to go to bed. After some cuddling, talking , a little touchy feely stuff, we fell asleep. But, I woke up. I then went to my couch , lit a cig and contemplated us. He awoke and came over to me and asked me whats wrong. I wasn’t honest at all. I said nothing I just cant sleep. It’s been 17 years for me to sleep with someone. I did this the next 2 nights. Flash forward and I go visit him. I do it again, every night. I kept waking, going out to smoke, contemplating.then crawl back in.At this point I know I’m “holding out”. I want to him to know that I’m not “easy”, yet the juices are really flowing for him and vice versa. We took a shower together but only once. I messed up , didn’t I ? There’s more but I’ll stop here.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    August 4, 2017 at 12:05 pm #144300

    if yuo’re still seeing each other and still makeing plans to – how did you mess up?
    i just told this to a friend of mine for another situation. I read a great quote from a great person one day and i’ll never forget it.

    “Pride and ego get in the way of real progress” or somethign like that.

    we need to let go of pride, ego, “our image”, “what people think of us” in ruling our lives.
    Instead we need to do what makes us happy and makes us want to wake up and live the next day.

    The hard part is figuring out what that is.
    The biggest mistake we’ll ever have – is figuring out and then denying ourselves that.

    Is there any reason beyond “i don’t want to appear easy” that you are holding back? Are you afraid that perhaps once it happens he’s gone?