Long distance relationship with a widow who has two kids

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Long distance relationship with a widow who has two kids

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    jfp420
    Participant
    November 15, 2014 at 11:46 am #67613
    Long distance relationship with a widow who has two kids

    Over the summer i was contacted by an old class mate from High School. We never really talked while in school together. She found me on Facebook and started a chat. It was going well! She lives in PA and I’m in NY. On our first date she told me about her kids and how she’s a widow (the kids are not his). She has tattoos, which i dont mind except for the one on her forearm (memorial to her dead husband). We’ve been seeing each other for about 6 months now. The future has come up a few times (marriage, kids, etc.) She explained that because of her dead husbands pension she is hesitant about marrying again (she’d lose the $). I feel like he is always going to get in the way of what i want even though he’s dead. She told me she wants more kids, but because of our age (30) she doesn’t want to wait too long. We’ve also talked about living together but she wants to stay in PA and i have elderly parents that need me. She tells me i can go home every weekend if i want to help them! IDK

    Roxy
    Roxy
    Participant
    November 17, 2014 at 10:49 am #67681

    That’s a lot to take on after just 6 months. As she has lost her husband through death and not a marriage breakup it makes it harder. I’m afraid your going to have to be a bit selfish and think about yourself in the decisions your going to be making. You have to consider not only what makes her happy but what makes you happy too. If you want to get married and she doesn’t because of her widows pension it doesn’t really seem fair on you. You have to consider whether or not it’s going to feel like just the two of you guys in the relationship or will it feel like her dead husband is a third wheel so to speak. Also I can understand wanting to be around your elderly parents and she will have to realise that they are obviously a big part of your life and the weekends just may not cut it. I feel you will be giving up a lot more for this relationship than she will and you may end up resenting her.