Losing Someone Because *I* Friend zoned her!!


Losing Someone Because *I* Friend zoned her!!

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    October 12, 2013 at 2:36 pm #41061
    Losing Someone Because *I* Friend zoned her!!

    I have another thread to put up, but I’m wondering if there is any advice here that will help this situation.

    There is a girl I like that I’ve been carrying on an online thing with for years. We have had sex years ago. We get along. We are into all the same stuff. We have a bit of an age difference (I’m an older guy). We reconnected in person this spring in Miami and had a whirlwind few days together. Like, the stuff dreams are made of. Then, I had to go away for work reasons. We kept in touch on Facebook.

    Now, I came back to Miami and set up to see her last week. I MESSED UP BAD.

    On a professional basis, I have a lot of very attractive girls I work with that I must put into the “friend zone.” I was SO used to doing this all year with these girls that I treated my love interest like that too!!! Force of habit. I didn’t get her moving the way I normally do. I held like 2 doors, didn’t do her car door, didn’t talk about anything other than intellectual interests, didn’t touch her here and there like I should have.

    Thanks to this, we got along like friends instead of having more passion like we did all the other times! Now, she is feeling that I’m not the right person for her, thanks to this miserable mistake I made. Like I’m not igniting something inside her.

    Is there ANY way out of this?

    I don’t want to sit around like a jack@ss being her “friend” while she’s finding other dudes and gushing over how great they are. ha ha ha Not really my cup of tea. However, I’d like to jump start things back up. I’ve asked her out for Halloween and got a “I might be going out with my friends” type of response. Not a yes.

    I’d like to turn this around. Any words of wisdom for a guy who dug his own grave?

    I would just move on, but out of probably a hundred girls I’ve met the past few years, this is the only one I really have feelings for and have genuine compatibility with. And I screwed it up! ??

    October 16, 2013 at 10:27 am #41267

    Hmm. Maybe you should try just being honest with her and telling her how you feel? If she is excited and wants to move forward with a romantic relationship – great. If she does not want to do that or wants to remain friends, then it might be time to move on but at least you will know. Communicating how you feel has to be the best way IMO.

    October 16, 2013 at 10:33 am #41277

    If you really had feelings for her, you wouldn’t let “force of habit” get in the way. You messed up man, move on.

    October 16, 2013 at 7:11 pm #41342

    Talk to her and be honest about your feelings. Admit you screwed up. Either she feels it or she doesn’t, but at least you’ll know where you stand.

    October 16, 2013 at 8:50 pm #41348

    You should just be honest with her and reveal your feelings.

    October 18, 2013 at 7:39 pm #41455

    I agree. Be real. Tell her it was a mistake and be honest.