Losing Virginity: Should it be special or just get it out of the way?

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Losing Virginity: Should it be special or just get it out of the way?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 17, 2014 at 3:18 pm #69370
    Losing Virginity: Should it be special or just get it out of the way?

    I am a 23 year old virgin who’s had one semi-girlfriend in my entire life. However, I did have an opportunity shortly after we stopped seeing each other to sleep with a girl who I had no attraction to whatsoever. I kept trying to convince myself to go through with it because I’m the only person amongst my friends who still hasn’t been sexually active. At the end of the day, I decided to not do it and to wait for somebody special. That was three years ago…fast forward to today and here I still am. So my question is…with all the pressure on losing your virginity, should I be thinking I should just lose it to take off any pressure I may feel or do I still wait around for it to be special? Thanks for any and all help!


    cannoteven
    Participant
    December 18, 2014 at 3:47 pm #69436

    Never let peer pressure (or anything of the sort) influence your decision on these types of matters.
    Some guys are fine with their first sexual experience not meaning anything in particular, but other guys take it seriously. If you want it to be special, then wait. If you lose it to someone you’re not attracted to, it’s possible that it’ll be something you regret for a long time.

    I’m a woman, so I can’t speak on behalf of men, but a lot of women also face this same issue. Most girls want to lose it to someone special, particularly someone they love dearly and plan on spending the rest of their life with. If the guys later turns out to not be what they expected, or that they had sex before they were actually ready, it can cause a lot of regret and some women get very self-conscious or depressed. Of course, those are worst-case scenarios.
    My point is that you should only have sex when you’re ready, and with who you want. It all depends on the person!
    You’re still young, anyways 🙂


    thedude77
    Participant
    December 19, 2014 at 3:17 pm #69488

    I lost my virginity at 22 y/o to a moderately attractive, drunk, blonde chick who came up to me at a bar, sat on my lap, looked at the bartender, and ordered a “screaming orgasm.” Until that point, I had only ever kissed a girl once. It was literally like God looked down, took pity on me, and decided to throw me a bone 😉

    Never regretted it. I think you should probably be with a couple dozen women, at least, before you really settle down, so don’t get too hung up on the first time. The more experience you get the less bad you’ll be at it when it really counts 😀

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 20, 2014 at 1:18 am #69501

    Both very different opinions, but both well-said. I really struggle with my confidence and I’m also a little picky about who I ask out and whatnot. I had a friend ask me a few months back if I was a virgin and I truthfully told him yes. He asked “Why? What are you looking for a wife or something?”, but I honestly wanted to say to him “Yes, I am”. I just feel like it should be special, but it’s hard when I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself in the first place. It’s just a really tough spot to be in I think…