Love Triangle Advice..

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Love Triangle Advice..

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Imjustagirl123
    Participant
    March 11, 2013 at 4:50 pm #25480
    Love Triangle Advice..

    This love triangle began when a friend began to casually have sex with a guy named Kevin. She introduced me to him a year into their “friendship” and we all seemed to get along great. We got together for drinks several times before they stopped talking. Well to make a long story short, Kevin and I continued to get together and ended up hooking up. At first I was afraid to tell my friend but ended up confessing about one occasion. She is under the impression that Kevin and I had sex once and it was only because I was drunk. She is not aware that it has been several month that we have been dating. I know that this makes me a bad friend. I feel terrible about it!

    However, this guy is great. He is everything I am looking for in a relationship. I have put a distance between Kevin and I because I have not told my friend. Its hard to take the risk and tell her because I haven’t defined my relationship with Kevin. We are still in the casual dating stage and have not talked about long term.

    So my question is, Who Should I choose? My Best Friend? or My Potential Boyfriend? Either way I cant win this one and I accept that.

    Yours Truly,
    Love Triangle Woman


    slobeachboy
    Participant
    March 11, 2013 at 5:14 pm #25481

    First of all, when you say that your friend and this guy had “casual sex” do you mean it was casual for both of them or just for him? Because if they were indeed involved in a no strings attached sexual relationship, which has since ended, then there is no reason that you should feel guilty about dating him. However I have a sneaking suspicion that your friend wanted more than just a casual relationship. After all, why else would she no longer be talking to him. And this of course leads me to my next question, which is, how do you know that he’s not just stringing you along as well and only using you for sex? Guys can put on a pretty good show when it comes to feigning affection in order to get sex. Anyway the bottom line is, if your friend was serious about this guy, and you are as well, then you may indeed have to choose between him or her. Just make sure that’s he’s really “the one” before you make that decision because dates are a lot easier to find than good friends. Or as men sometimes crudely put it “bro’s before ho’s”. In any case, you should either tell your friend the whole truth or say nothing at all. Telling half-truths just makes things worse in the long run.


    confusedfighter
    Participant
    March 11, 2013 at 5:17 pm #25482

    In my opinion, there are a few things that need to be defined. One, is he really long term potential (does he think so as well). Also, what are are your friendship boundries with her. They were broken up so that means there was no commitment there between them. However, that is why the usual rule is to never date someone your friends have. But since you are already there, if she is a true friend she will eventually have to accept that you are happy with him. She does not own him. But if it came down to chosing her or him, who should or would you chose. I would make those decisions now before you too get in a committed relationship and things get deeper all around. Also, you need to tell he now.


    Imjustagirl123
    Participant
    March 12, 2013 at 1:53 am #25510

    First of all, when you say that your friend and this guy had “casual sex” do you mean it was casual for both of them or just for him? Because if they were indeed involved in a no strings attached sexual relationship, which has since ended, then there is no reason that you should feel guilty about dating him. However I have a sneaking suspicion that your friend wanted more than just a casual relationship. After all, why else would she no longer be talking to him. And this of course leads me to my next question, which is, how do you know that he’s not just stringing you along as well and only using you for sex? Guys can put on a pretty good show when it comes to feigning affection in order to get sex. Anyway the bottom line is, if your friend was serious about this guy, and you are as well, then you may indeed have to choose between him or her. Just make sure that’s he’s really “the one” before you make that decision because dates are a lot easier to find than good friends. Or as men sometimes crudely put it “bro’s before ho’s”. In any case, you should either tell your friend the whole truth or say nothing at all. Telling half-truths just makes things worse in the long run.

    They were having casual sex. He actually was the one more interested in a relationship than she was. I have had suspicions about him stringing me along for sex but he is different. I have met his parents, we are planning family vacations and I have met his 5 year old son. I am confused because we still have not talked long term.


    slobeachboy
    Participant
    March 12, 2013 at 3:15 am #25513

    Well if you think he’s really “the one” then I guess you have to go for it. And if you’re friend can’t understand that then maybe she not as good a friend as you thought. She’s going to find out eventually though so it’s better that you tell her sooner than later. I mean, are you just going to wait until she gets the wedding invitation in the mail? That would end the friendship for sure. As for talking “long term” (I assume that means marriage and kids) that’s not particularly unusual if you’ve only been in a serious relationship for a year or less.