Low Self Esteem/Confidence

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Low Self Esteem/Confidence

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    DKing3
    Participant
    March 30, 2015 at 6:09 pm #76309
    Low Self Esteem/Confidence

    Maybe this I guess technically is not a dating question per say, but does anyone out there deal with low confidence and low self esteem? I do and am so conscious about it sometimes. And as far as with dating or talking with girls, how do I seem more confident? I know girls like and are attracted to confidence. I just feel like there is always a better/more good looking guy the girl will fall for or see that is so much better than me. I feel just too awkward, weak, chubby/fat, and unattractive sometimes. Anyone else feel this way?? How should I deal with this?! Thanks!!

    Dontbeniceanymore
    Dontbeniceanymore
    Participant
    March 31, 2015 at 9:06 am #76331

    Dking,

    When dating we all face the same fears, and the little voice inside of our head that says:

    You are not tall enough,
    You are not strong enough,
    You are not young/old enough
    You are out of shape of shape

    These phrases are lies, you are Good Enough!!!

    The first thing you need to do is learn to like yourself, accept the way you are now. If you know that you need to eat more healthy and do more exercise do it because of you, not to please anybody else.

    If you know that you need to improve in some areas do it, as your personal mission to become a better version of yourself, strive for the excellence.

    As long as you act like a confident man, and you set your own rules and don’t accept second class behavior from any women and specially hot women, it won’t matter if a younger, taller, whatever guy passes by because women feel attracted not to your physical appearance but to your behavior and confidence.


    DKing3
    Participant
    March 31, 2015 at 10:19 am #76333

    Dontbeniceanymore…
    Hey buddy thank you means a lot! I read your bio, and ya know what, sounds like I am in a similar situation as you at the moment. I have been talking to this girl for a few months now, and we have really been hitting it off and have had a few dates (she goes to school a few hours away but when she has came home we have been to dates). I am the nice guy. I want to be there for her, be the best boyfriend I could be, do anything for her, compliment her all the time, and make her laugh and all that. She broke up with her douche bag of an ex because he was a controlling jerk. He got pissed if she didnt respond to texts right away or answer phone calls, and he wouldnt even let her hang out with friends. Total ass right? Well I guess he has been talking with her and they seem to be friends again and now she told me she was gonna go to a concert with him in May. I am fine with her being friends with him because you have to trust, but I just dont know! Continue….


    DKing3
    Participant
    March 31, 2015 at 10:20 am #76334

    I poured my heart out to her, and was there for her, and I was this nice guy. So why do the women go towards these jerks??? Why the hell do nice guys like us finish last?


    DKing3
    Participant
    March 31, 2015 at 10:21 am #76336

    I am not giving up on her yet, but i dont know should I?


    Anonymous
    March 31, 2015 at 2:49 pm #76386

    Hey man, I was in the exact same position as you only a few years ago, I used to think crazy negative thoughts all the time just like the ones that you mentioned, thinking I wasn’t good enough and that girls would always want other guys over me. The problem is that this kind of mentality almost kills any chance you have with girls.

    Continued

    Dontbeniceanymore
    Dontbeniceanymore
    Participant
    March 31, 2015 at 11:57 pm #76423

    Dking3,

    Women feel attracted to men who are in control of themselves, who live by their own rules, men who don’t need the approval of others in particular women, and they don’t give away so easily their approval, affection, or time.

    Women feel attracted to jerks and douchebags because they have an appearance of being in control, they don’t accept second class behavior and they don’t care about women’s feeling.

    I know this is hard to accept but please stop being a nice guy, you will always end in the “friend zone” and that is worse than hell, and I tell you this by experience.

    Quite probably as child your parents and in special your Mom taught to you to always be nice, to be polite all the time. It’s time for you to stop acting as good kid, you are man, people have to earn your trust, they have to show they are worthy of your time, your support, don’t give away so easily what is inside of you, women needs to prove they deserve you not the other way around.


    DKing3
    Participant
    April 1, 2015 at 10:21 am #76449

    Dontbeniceanymore..

    Thanks man, gotta say that is really shitty, but is honestly really true. Do you think that it is because nice guys seem too much like a pushover? I could definitely see that.

    1

    datingmaster123
    datingmaster123
    Participant
    April 2, 2015 at 10:08 am #76503

    In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn’t fall in your lap.You should fight for.