Met up with an ex after a year, feelings are still there

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Met up with an ex after a year, feelings are still there

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    gracefor8
    gracefor8
    Participant
    July 12, 2016 at 8:48 pm #105051
    Met up with an ex after a year, feelings are still there

    I met up with an ex boyfriend after being out of contact for a year. We had a great time over dinner, we hugged when we left. He had tears in his eyes. As I drove away, my feelings for him came flooding back. It surprised me. He is just out of a relationship, and I am not in one at the moment, but I am not sure how to proceed from here. Do I tell him? Do I just stay in touch and see where it goes naturally, on its own? Would he freak if I told him I would love to find out if there is still something between us?


    SuperwomanStar86
    Participant
    July 17, 2016 at 4:27 pm #105520

    It’s hard to say why did it not last the first time??? Going backwards is not always a good thing but it’s not always a bad thing either! I would say sit down for lunch or something with the person and have a real honest conversation about it all past present and future and gauge the face to face reactions during the conversation. Unless he’s a really good liar you should be able to pick up on something about the way he feels and go from there.


    Nevir
    Participant
    July 17, 2016 at 7:02 pm #105524

    Getting back to an ex is always a risky move. Depends on why did you and he break up in the first place? If you got seperated because of something came into your guys life, like distance, work etc and had to break up. Then sure, why not?

    However if you broke up because one of you hurt the other, or because you lost interest over time I would suggest to leave it be.

    And for you question, I think he wouldn’t think he would freak out.


    JuelzSantana
    Participant
    July 20, 2016 at 8:51 am #105771

    He just got out of a relationship. Investing in him emotionally right now would be a terrible move, especially if he’s not over the girl yet.

    Because what would happen if you start seeing him for a couple weeks and his ex calls and wants him back and he goes back to her? Where would that leave you?

    Make sure he is actually moved on from his break up, because we all know that our heads aren’t right in the aftermath of a breakup.

    Don’t be a rebound.

    Winry
    Winry
    Participant
    July 29, 2016 at 8:35 am #106831

    I think communicating in a friendly matter is your best move. Like what was said before, you don’t want to just be a rebound and you need to feel out the whole situation before diving back in. If the first breakup still has you and/or him with some mad/annoyed/frustrated emotions, then they will likely never go away.

    If you two broke up over something like cheating, lack of commitment, or trust issues then I would definitely say you should steer clear.

    However, if he seems to be over said ex and he doesn’t really talk about her or anything, and you two are over the breakup, I say take the chance and try it!


    CiaoBella
    Participant
    July 29, 2016 at 5:21 pm #106935

    I think you should casually find out where is is emotionally right now. Sometimes after a break up people need some alone time to regroup. It may be that his relationship has been over (unofficially) before it finally ended…sometimes when that happens people disengage emotionally and are ready to move on by the time things are officially over. You could express to him your feelings but tbh i think it will turn into you being the rebound, regardless of you having history with him. The last thing you want to do is put yourself in a situation where you are the rebound. Game plan: find out where he is emotionally (if he’s over her or wants to get back with her)…if he’s over her, then start asking him to hang out again, but just be friends right now, do fun stuff, don’t jump into sex or whatever. Then give it a few months and see what happens, it might be that he has feelings for you too and timing may be right this time, but by all means, take care of yourself first.


    mary2017
    Participant
    August 1, 2016 at 8:29 am #106994

    it s always bad to see again an ex…..it will not last…waisting time…even if can be good time

    mialmagemela
    mialmagemela
    Participant
    January 11, 2017 at 9:06 am #122539

    Why did you guys break up in the first place?

    mb322
    mb322
    Participant
    January 11, 2017 at 2:57 pm #122625

    Be careful, if his break up was recent and messy you don’t want to be his emotional replacement.