Mixed signals?

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Mixed signals?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    nancyha
    Participant
    May 26, 2016 at 10:54 am #101387
    Mixed signals?

    I met this guy on Tinder, we went to have lunch and then we had sex (very quick, I know), which was also good. After we cuddled for a while, I didn’t feel he was distancing from me. He said that if I didn’t have plans the next day we should meet. We both had plans so he walked me out and kissed me good-bye. 5 minutes later he sent me a message saying “I loved our afternoon”. For the next two days he sent me good morning messages, we held small conversations and at one point he stopped answering. So I looked for him 2 days later, just said hi, we started talking again and I asked him if he had plans for the weekend, he said he was working on Saturday but Sunday free, so I told him maybe we could do something on Sunday and he just replied yes! Then I said I had a lunch but that we could meet in the afternoon.. and then he stopped replying again! I won’t look for him now, I know that.. but what do you think? Not interested? A one night thing? I can deal with it, I just think it’s confusin

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by  nancyha.

    Louie97
    Participant
    May 27, 2016 at 4:37 pm #101579

    His communication with you is clearly inconsistent. I could be wrong but to me only after you guys slept together he seemed sweet and stuff with sending you morning messages. Sorry to say…but because you were so quick to sleep with him he probably conditioned his mind to think “yeah for sure I can contact her for sexual favours” and that’s why he’s probably sending you mixed signals. He,(like myself) probably realizes that you genuinely care for him and that you’re not in it just for the sex…i’m no expert but that’s maybe why he keeps giving you mixed signals whenever you suggest meeting up to spend time. This guy probably figures that you’re looking for a committed relationship, whilst he may just be looking for a hookup.sigh, All the best to you.

    Desmonnd
    Desmonnd
    Participant
    May 27, 2016 at 11:41 pm #101581

    Did he meet you ,have lunch, and sleep with you during the same day?
    I will try not to discuss morality here, but if he is able to do that with you, he is able to do that with other women.
    While you may have been lucky to have an oppotuninty to do such a highly desirable man, so have many other women, and you will get compared to the others, and you are not the 1 woman he wants to be monagamous with.
    You may have dated other men that once you sleep with him, he will start thinking about having an LTR with you, but that is because you are the only good one he can get.


    rachel2717
    Participant
    May 30, 2016 at 5:34 am #101614

    He will contact you again.. Just when it’s convenient for him.. I’d just ignore him and find someone new. X


    nancyha
    Participant
    May 30, 2016 at 10:48 am #101617

    Yeah you guys are basically right.. He will send some random message and then doesn’t continue the conversation and hasn’t made any plans to meet up. It seems he just want to keep me as an option. So I think the next message he sends will be ignored and that’s that. Thank you for your advice!

    GsGotAcrush
    GsGotAcrush
    Participant
    May 31, 2016 at 12:25 am #101634

    Hey Nancy! I’ve been on your shoes before, so maybe my pov can help you a bit.
    Most of the guys I’ve met on this dating app are just looking for fast interactions, and for fast I don’t necessarily just mean sex. I was talking to a male friend bout this and he said something that totally made sense to me: most ppl are in it for instant gratification and just to feel desired.
    I’m not gonna lie and tell you us girls don’t do it because come on! who doesn’t like to have a growing match list? My point is that only a few rare cases are actually willing for things to evolve.
    As girls we all have at least minimal hope that one of these men will turn out to be something else in the end and when it doesn’t, we find it very disappointing. My advice is that if he cuts conversation you shouldn’t pursue it. Let it go and perhaps try dating in a more traditional way for a while so it doesn’t make you self-conscious of your approaches. Believe me, you’ll find a good guy 🙂