Mixed Signals

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Mixed Signals

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2017 at 2:12 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!


    banjojohn
    Participant
    April 29, 2015 at 2:56 pm #78055
    Mixed Signals

    Ok, sorry if this gets long. I will try to keep it brief as possible. I met the amazing woman at a dance cub. The attraction was instant and we danced and kissed all night on the dance floor. Later, we went out to eat, holding hands the whole time. Her friend, who was their ride, left us there after I offered to take her home. We held hands all the way there. She asked me to stay, but no sex. I did stay and we cuddled. Fast forward a few weeks later and we have been intimate. We have seen seeing each other a total of nearly 3 months. She invited me to the beach over Easter and we spent an amazing 3 days together. We have stayed at each others place for 2-3 days at a time. I met her sister, who lives at the beach and met her parents once. We text everyday, if nothing else but to say good morning./night. Things have slowed, but she says she wants no ‘relationship’. It feels like we have one, except in name. The kicker is she is still on a dating website. Im confused-where do i stand?


    banjojohn
    Participant
    April 29, 2015 at 3:03 pm #78056

    My main mixed signal is that she says no relationship,but all the indications are there from her actions and physical mannerisms, that she really likes me. Im getting kind of crazy over her, so its making me really turbulent, emotionally, as to how to proceed. Ive never been with a woman who exibits all these signs, yet still stays on a dating site and who says she wants no relationship.


    iamunderrated
    Participant
    April 29, 2015 at 5:36 pm #78099

    Does she appear to be “active” on the dating site? She might have a subscription paid for still and just gets on and deletes emails.

    LorMD1266
    LorMD1266
    Participant
    April 30, 2015 at 1:23 am #78119

    in my opinion (I am a clinical psychologist PhD student), you are dealing with a woman who exhibits a lot of unconscious insecurity…women like this often seek out multiple sexual partners in order to alleviate anxiety they experience as a result of some unresolved childhood conflict . Does she have a good relationship with her parents? Do you know for sure if she is seeing other men? Have you asked why she wants no relationship? People who go to dance clubs, IN GENERAL, tend be extroverted and promiscuous. It’s clear that she really likes you, but she may not want you to be the only man in her life, she may not want to be “tied down.”


    banjojohn
    Participant
    May 1, 2015 at 8:37 am #78222

    Does she appear to be “active” on the dating site? She might have a subscription paid for still and just gets on and deletes emails.
    Quote

    I didn’t think she was active until I noticed the other day that she had added a new picture. That one hurt. Apparently she may not care like I think she does. It’s hard to believe she would go through all those stages with me and the still not care. I really do care for her.


    banjojohn
    Participant
    May 1, 2015 at 8:37 am #78224

    in my opinion (I am a clinical psychologist PhD student), you are dealing with a woman who exhibits a lot of unconscious insecurity…women like this often seek out multiple sexual partners in order to alleviate anxiety they experience as a result of some unresolved childhood conflict . Does she have a good relationship with her parents? Do you know for sure if she is seeing other men? Have you asked why she wants no relationship? People who go to dance clubs, IN GENERAL, tend be extroverted and promiscuous. It’s clear that she really likes you, but she may not want you to be the only man in her life, she may not want to be “tied down.”

    As far as I have seen, she has a great relationship with her parents. She has been married twice and they both were verbally abusive. She had recently broken up with a boy friend of about 1 year. I think she had been single about 3 months when we met. It’s just hard to think she was faking those things with me.


    banjojohn
    Participant
    May 1, 2015 at 8:38 am #78227

    Thanks for your insights. She has added a picture to her profile, which means she is not just checking emails. That one did hurt. She has a good relationship with her parents as far as I can tell. It’s hard to believe she could act like she has towards me and it all be fakery. I really do care about her and I’m wondering my next move. Things have cooled and we are not seeing each other as much now. He texts have cooled, as far as the sweet language. I have been reading about text language Nd it makes me wonder if she is just being nice in replying to my texts. I text good morning or night occasionally and she responds immediately, but any texts like “I am missing you” don’t get a reply. Maybe she is pulling away now? I have considered the no contact thing, but that seems like mid games and I am way too old for mind games. What are your thoughts on droppiing contact for awhile?


    cluelessINdating
    Participant
    May 1, 2015 at 10:03 am #78247

    she probably had a small crush on you and she is over it now. I think you should start going out on dates or stay busy to get your mind off of her. You’re going to feel worse the more you think about her.