Mixed signals – not the usual kind, either.


Mixed signals – not the usual kind, either.

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    May 5, 2018 at 6:41 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    October 16, 2016 at 12:44 am #114226
    Mixed signals – not the usual kind, either.

    OK, so to introduce myself, I am a 24 year old musician. I have had this massive thing for a girl (mid 30s) for many years. I only realised I was attracted to her as much as I was when she actually (apparently) hit on me years ago, but I didn’t do anything, because I thought she was still getting engaged to someone I know.
    Now. Only recently did anything develop past that – a few months ago, we started kissing at a party, and slept at her friends house in the living room, spooned, and grinded a bit in the morning. And then that afternoon she went to her hometown to live (which is a fair while away) for a few months. So I had to play long distance with someone I wasn’t even with, and I’ve never been in a relationship, and I probably didn’t do enough to maintain her interest. Now she’s back, and mixed signals abound – I won’t go into too much more detail, to prevent time wasting, but basically, I get the idea she’s seen other guys since, but I can’t prove that.

    October 16, 2016 at 12:46 am #114227

    But she said “we should smoke together sometime” and “we should jam together (we’re both musicians)”… so I’ve just moved out and fairly promptly asked if she wanted to come round on Sunday for a bit of smoking and jamming. Her response “I’m not sure when, I have some things on the weekend but they aren’t set yet”.
    She does often go places on the weekend… but that’s kind of a weird response. Anyway, today is Sunday. Not sure if I should just leave it and ask her more directly when I next see her, or to ask her again?
    Oh, did I mention that I’ve never really dated? Ever? (Going out to coffee/lunch with a friend/crush who knows how you feel probably doesn’t count)
    Also, I might be on the completely wrong forum for this. I just found the most appropriate thing I can find because I don’t want to screw this up, and I need advice from wiser people than me on this issue (read: seemingly most people)

    October 16, 2016 at 2:27 pm #114229

    If she is telling you “maybe” due to other plans that haven’t yet been set in stone… You should probably just move on. You’re on the backburner, she’s not serious about you.

    October 17, 2016 at 6:41 am #114267

    You would most probably lose a girl if her bedtime interest is not met. You can gain that capability with no difficulties. but the question is whether you really need her or not. There are visible signs of cheating but the problem is, if she is visiting someone, you may risk to offend her and push her away. I would suggest to charm her, pull her rather. And do much effort to satisfy her interest. Then, if she really was seeing someone but still she came to you for some reasons, you would have a great chance to keep her for yourself. If she is not seeing anyone yet, that would be perfect for you too.