Moving in with Boyfriend – Pet issues

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Moving in with Boyfriend – Pet issues

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Lhasa1951
    Participant
    February 20, 2014 at 12:05 pm #48089
    Moving in with Boyfriend – Pet issues

    Ok, so the situation is a little complicated.

    I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a year and 8 months. During this time I’ve had my own apartment, and have been in a lease for over a year. Several months ago my boyfriend asked me to move in with him. The only foreseeable problem was that he is letting his friends, a married couple, live there so they can save up for their house, charging them only $750 a month (375 each), and they are allergic to cats — I have a cat.

    So I initially told him ok, so they’re allergic to cats, I’ll just stay at my current apartment. And he said no, don’t worry, we’ll figure something out about the cat — we’ll put her on the third floor and board her up so she wont live downstairs and bother them. Well, so I give notice, and he finally gets around to talking to the married couple living in his house about me moving in with the cat. Long story short – they freak out and say they’ll move if the cat moves in, but if it doesn’t they’ll stay for two


    Lhasa1951
    Participant
    February 20, 2014 at 12:08 pm #48091

    story continued:

    stay for two years. So the boyfriend comes to me and says if the cat moves in I’ll lose $18,000 in rental income. Give the cat away to your mom.

    This is where the issue gets sticky. My Mom is very unstable, and has actually been living with me for a year because she’s homeless. My plan when I moved out was to get her to lease an apartment, pay part of the rent for awhile, until she can find a way to support herself. the boyfriend also wants to charge me $500 in rent (which is $150 more than what he charges the couple on a per person basis…….) to live at his house, so I’d be paying that and supporting my mother. I don’t want to give the cat to my mother because when I was a child, she let one of my cats go, and also dumped the current one in an apartment complex for a month after we got evicted and then returned to go get it……. I believe I’m putting the cat in a dangerous situation.

    I talked about it with the boyfriend, and he says that if my mom starts

    March 17, 2014 at 12:48 pm #49373

    Wait, your boyfriend is going to make you pay to live with him, even if the couple doesn’t leave?

    F that awful deal. Tell him that you’re going to wait until the couple leaves to move in and be firm on this decision. If your mother can’t handle living on her own, then you need to make him understand that.


    Lhasa1951
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:03 pm #48092

    to self-destruct again, or if I see the cat is in danger, only then can it move in.

    So given all that’s going on — am I right in thinking that we may not be ready to move in together? I mean, he did ask me to break my current lease, and is now changing the deal here at the last minute because they’ve told him they’ll stay on for two years. He’s assured me for a year now that they would not be here that long, and that the cat could come….

    What should I do?


    Lhasa1951
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:03 pm #48094

    self-destructing again, and I see that the cats in danger, then and only then can the cat move in.

    So what should I do? He’s been assuring me that his roomates would not be here for long, and that the cat could move in, and only the other day are they telling him that they want to stay for two years and so now he’s saying no cat AT THE LAST MINUTE. I move in MArch 15th…..

    foreel
    foreel
    Participant
    April 14, 2014 at 6:19 pm #51184

    WOW, and I thought I had problems with my boyfriend.
    Well let me start by asking you how much you love your cat. For me my pets are like my children. They rely on me for everything, food, water, shelter, hell they can’t even go to the bathroom unless I let them out (I have dogs 3 big dogs.) My point is this, the cat is a family member he comes with the deal. In other terms when your boyfriend ask you to move in with him he has no choice but to accept your family in this case your cat.
    My advice, stay where you at. Take care of your Mom and the cat, if your boyfriend wants to live with you and you with him then suggest he move in with you. He can help pay half of all the expenses, The two of you would have more privacy, and the cat’s life goes on uninterrupted. 