My boy has an hard time committing


My boy has an hard time committing

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    October 18, 2016 at 7:42 pm #114533
    My boy has an hard time committing

    Long story short: we’re seeing since almost 2 months, part time cause we live 3hrs away from each other. Lately, we kissed / had sex for the first time. From now on, we had 4 dates.

    He had hearthbreaking relationships before, sees a therapist to heal himself. He told me that he feels closed and distant even if he likes me a lot, needs to figure himself out before he gets engaged to me, feels sad to be unable to just jump into it.

    I highly appreciated his honesty, is ability to share this issue with me. I’ve been there myself before. But does it means he’ll never be my proper boyfriend? That he’ll never feel ready?

    I am not in love yet but like him A LOT and been single for 5 very long years cause I never get to meet someone that amazingly awesome.

    October 20, 2016 at 12:19 am #114710

    Here is how I would respond to that: you live 3 hours away, it probably wont work. You will never develop bonding that is needed in the first few months face to face. But you went ahead and had sex. For a woman its different for a man. There is a great deal of feelings involved that are created.

    You do not want to be alone, after 5 years. I understand. But he is emotionally unavailable. So much so, in fact, that he told you. He needs to figure himself out before engaging in you? Ok… so he is saying he is not ready for a relationship. Pure and simple.

    So a question for yourself is: do you want to get involved with an emotionally unavailable guy (who admitted this by the way) and go nowhere in the relationship? You will only frustrate yourself with this guy and I can tell you that for sure the longer you stay with him and build up feelings and attachment to a guy who is not dating material. Again, its been 2 months. hours apart. Only a few dates. What do you really expect?