My everything…

DATING ADVICE FORUM

My everything…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    mxrider2199
    Participant
    November 21, 2014 at 5:25 pm #67946
    My everything…

    So I work at a restaurant with this girl. A few months ago she started flirting with me you know touching making jokes, poking fun, stuff like that. Then after a week or so of flirting I hit on her and she had the biggest smile on her face. Almost a week later I still had not seen her she messages me on facebook telling me how much that made her day/week. So we began talking more and I gave her my number and we started talking and flirting and snapchatting more and more. Then the day I am going to ask her out I find out she has a boyfriend through one of our mutual friends saying her boyfriend was mad that we were texting and snapchatting each other so much. Anyways I continued talking snapchatting and flirting with this girl at work. One day her boyfriend messages me on facebook asking me what is going on between me and his girlfriend and i simply responded nothing we have never even hung out outside of work. He said he doesnt believe me and I said ok well I like her.


    mxrider2199
    Participant
    November 21, 2014 at 5:31 pm #67947

    Long story short he continue messaging me for hours threatening me as I was laughing hysterically. The next day I worked with this same girl and she apologized for his actions saying hes such an ahole and this and that. Since then our connection has grown immensely. Our flirting has become way more intimate and we have so much in common. From the way we speak, the music we listen to, the things we eat, the things we like to do, our humor is very similar and I just cant get her out of my mind. So one day I waited outside of work for her to get off so i could talk to her to see what is going on between us. She says I like you but i have a connection with this guy that I am currently with and feel like he could be the one (granite this guy treats her like shit lives with his parents, minimum wage, smokes/drinks plays games all day, has dumped her many times before and uses her so much) and right now I haven’t decided and I know its not fair to ask you to wait.


    mxrider2199
    Participant
    November 24, 2014 at 9:32 am #67948

    But if you can wait, I wont make you wait long I promise. So the ball is in your court. I responded saying for now I am waiting. Before that conversation he broke up with her after messaging me and then they got back together that same day… She has told me before that she thinks I am a great guy and thinks that a huge reason why we couldnt be together is because she smokes weed and drinks while I do not. I have tried reassuring her that those things do not bother me at all and I have been fine with that my whole life… My conclusion is that she is afraid of being alone and thinks I will reject her because of those things when i love nearly everything about her and when we are together we brighten each others’ days so much. Any suggestions/tips? Obviously I want to be with her more than anything in the world right now and she wants to be with me too, but she just can’t decide how much she wants to.


    mxrider2199
    Participant
    November 24, 2014 at 9:32 am #67949

    She then continues to tell me the ball is in my court and I told her for now I am waiting. Obviously I want to be with this girl and there is a huge part of her that wants to be with me too, she told me that but I don’t know what else to do everytime we hang out we have such intimate stares/hugs and it is getting harder and harder to resist making a move on her that would be disrespectful to both our boundaries and break my own moral code. I am just looking for suggestions/tips or examples of guys or girls who have been in similar experiences like this


    Symfony
    Participant
    November 24, 2014 at 4:50 pm #68100

    Writting a long response here


    dfreeland311
    Participant
    November 25, 2014 at 8:56 pm #68195

    Don’t wait on someone who’s with someone else. I did it one time, she finally dumped him, we dated for a while, then she did the same to me months later.

    RSval
    RSval
    Participant
    November 26, 2014 at 12:50 am #68198

    Your caught in quite a spot… I must say. Well I personally do not condone breaking up a relationship. It’s funny though, because in your situation although she was in a relationship she allowed the flirting etc to escalate. Which could mean, she was ready to move on from her current bf but was afraid. And then after seeing that she gave you reasons why they two of you should not be together, she desperately needs some sort of guarantee in a way. Probably because she’s been hurt before.

    It’s a good thing that you allowed her to choose. It shows you’re in control. Also, you could use this scenario to really get to her fully. To see how she’s like in these kind of stressful situations. These are the times when people show their true colours.

    I’d say don’t wait on her. Move on with your life, but casually maintain some for of contact. Gotta make her prove to you that she’s worth your while. Reason being, because you have an awesome life to lead 🙂

    Best of luck man!


    TheMoor
    Participant
    November 28, 2014 at 2:14 am #68272

    This is a dumb situation. If she wanted to be with you, she would be with you. She even said she thinks this other guy could be the one. Why wait for her? If she’s talking to another guy behind his back, what makes you think it will be different if you start dating her?