September 1, 2016 at 10:14 pm #110380
My girlfriend and I have been dating for less than a year and she is already bringing up marriage and having children. At first it was cute, but now she is getting more obsessive over the idea. It’s getting to the point where she tells me that she thinks she found her wedding ring and she constantly sends me pictures of her trying it on. I could see myself marrying her, but I’m starting to feel like she is trying to force me into marrying her. I would feel better if we just let our relationship naturally progress. Instead, she is always on the subject of marriage and having children. She’s even started looking at wedding rings and asking me who I would have as my groomsmen. It’s just weird. She even tells me that a good wedding ring costs at least $6,000. I tell her that I cannot afford a wedding ring right now and she tells me to pay by the month on her ring. This is scaring me from her. Is this normal behavior by her or is she being crazy?
elmaParticipantSeptember 7, 2016 at 6:34 pm #110754
No, it’s not normal.
Have you tried to talk with her and let her know how you feel about this whole situation?
SimplyyLivvParticipantSeptember 7, 2016 at 8:18 pm #110756
How old are you guys if you don’t mind me asking? Sometimes girls get really caught up in their feelings and feel like if they don’t say anything how will you know how they are feeling. I would sit her down and nicely say look im really enjoying our time together, i really like/love you) whatever you guys say to each other) and i could see myself marrying you ONE DAY , but lately you’ve been taking this a little too far too fast. Lets let things happen naturally, trust me you will appreciate it much more!September 13, 2016 at 11:15 pm #111302
I have talked to her about it several times and each time it turned into an argument. She even went as far as to assume that I would purposely buy her a cheap ring, when I simply said that I would buy her what I could afford to buy her. Of course I would get her a nice wedding ring, if our relationship ever went that far. However, I don’t think it is a good idea to have a really expensive wedding ring and not even be able to put a roof over your heads. She completely blew up at me and accused me of not loving her. She even told her parents and they got upset with me about it too. It kind of hurts that neither her nor her parents could even try to put themselves in my situation and be more objective about it. It makes me feel like she and her family are snobbish, which really turns me off of her. She’s 26 and I’m 28.
portugal511ParticipantSeptember 14, 2016 at 2:08 pm #111388
Tread lightly my friend, if she is that obsessed with getting married to you after under a year together, some douche can flash a pretty smile and make her false promises and take her in an instant, she is living in a fairy tale, and thinks her time is coming too close, talk to her and tell her your thoughts, and don’t argue when she argues to you.September 14, 2016 at 6:00 pm #111447
She is living in a fairy tale. She has unattainable expectations for me as a boyfriend. Whether than just let things progress naturally, she is trying to force them. And it really hurts me that her family is egging her on in all of this. I expected them to at least be reasonable in all of this, but that is not the case.
SimplyyLivvParticipantSeptember 15, 2016 at 8:55 am #111456
Don’t ignore red flags, they are there for a reason. Talk with her, if she is still unreasonable i think it may be time to cut your loses.September 15, 2016 at 2:45 pm #111522
I’m hoping that these red flags aren’t enough to end things with her. I understand that not every relationship is perfect. I also know that I’m not perfect. I try to compromise with her on things. However, it doesn’t seem like she is willing to compromise on much. It has to be her way or the highway. The wedding ring issue is just one of many things that I feel she is not willing to compromise on. This is the hardest I’ve ever tried to keep a relationship going.October 4, 2016 at 10:52 pm #113247
I revisited the ring issue with her the other day. I asked her what she would do if I couldn’t afford her dream ring. She exploded and got very defensive about it. She is dead set on a very expensive ring, which scares me. I feel like she cares about the ring more than me. I have never been in a relationship before where every time I bring up the subject of an engagement ring, it turns into an argument. I don’t get it. Don’t women want a commitment from their men? Why should the price of an engagement ring matter? I shouldn’t have to go broke to prove that I love her. It just rubs me the wrong way. It’s not even the fact that she wants an expensive ring. It’s more so the fact that she is not willing to compromise when she knows that I cannot afford that particular ring.
AtomicParticipantOctober 5, 2016 at 4:13 am #113251
I don’t get why people are obsessed with marriage. Just have fun together!October 6, 2016 at 8:51 pm #113492
I’m trying to have fun, but whenever we start talking about rings, she just gets argumentative.
sho2727ParticipantOctober 15, 2016 at 2:55 pm #114210
That sounds extremely unhealthy… I don’t think you need to buy a ring, I think you should re-consider if you want a relationship with someone with serious issues like that at all.
Nate99ParticipantOctober 15, 2016 at 6:09 pm #114215
Don’t let yourself be “forced” into anything, especially a marriage.. Only do it when you’re ready, not a second before you feel it’s the right thing to do and it’s what you want at that moment in your life. We only live once, make life-changing choices wisely!
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