My girlfriends mother is against our relationship. What can I do to help?

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My girlfriends mother is against our relationship. What can I do to help?

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    bendaniels1228
    Participant
    December 29, 2012 at 5:08 pm #19717
    My girlfriends mother is against our relationship. What can I do to help?

    My girlfriend is 18 and I’m 22 and we’ve been together for about 3 months now. I have no doubt in my mind that love each other greatly. We share a connection that is amazingly indescribable. She is from Indiana but she came down to Arizona to go to school and is currently back at home for Christmas break. When she returned home, she decided to tell her mother about her new boyfriend. Her mom seems to be strongly against us being together because I’m older and “more experienced” than her. I honestly believe that it has to do with the fact that her mom doesn’t really know anything about me and that she is afraid of her daughter being with a stranger living 1000 miles away. She could also argue that a boyfriend would cause her to lose focus with her studies which isn’t true because she’s taking many of the classes I’ve already taken seeing as our majors are fairly similar. Not to mention we were both named to the Dean’s List this past semester for superior academic performance. I’m not a complete stranger though considering I’ve met her mother and her father on two separate occasions when they came down to Arizona to visit. I was also invited out to dinner and then breakfast the very next morning by her grandparents while they were visiting. Of course, they didn’t know we were dating at the time. My girlfriend is extremely upset with the situation and I want to do whatever I can to help. Her and her mom are super close and she feels that her mom will badger her until she gets what she wants. I’m not trying to come in between her and her family and I’m not trying to steal her away. I understand that her mom is worried about her but I truly love this girl and would do anything in my power to keep that smile on her face. She comes back in 15 days but I’m afraid that I’m losing her. What can I do to help?


    Kurtis
    Participant
    January 4, 2013 at 9:41 am #19948

    OK hold on. Re-read the first two lines. “My girlfriend is 18 and I’m 22 and we’ve been together for about 3 months now. I have no doubt in my mind that love each other greatly.”

    No, you’re NOT in love. you THINK you’re in love and this young beaut is already giving you a reason to fight for her chastity belt. First off, I think the parents are right about wanting to protect their little girl, yes, you ARE a stranger 1000 miles away and as much as they would want her back home, you need to prove to them you are a gentleman and deserve their respect.

    Focus on your studies, respect those boundaries her parents have created and they will see how deserving you are of their daughter. If you take the higher road (although it may be bumpy) be sure to stay focused on the true goal: your girlfriend’s love–because remember, you’re NOT in love just yet.

    If you start this relationship with a cloudy perception of reality, there’s no hope of you gaining anyone’s trust. Keep a level head, be her knight in shining armor and don’t let her parents get in your head too soon.