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    Bucky
    Participant
    January 3, 2015 at 2:11 am #69824
    Need advice

    I met a woman at a party. We hit it off and have texted a lot. We haven’t gone out bc I was getting over a relationship as is she. The conversations to this point have been nothing short of amazing. Flirtatious, funny, serious at times and so on. We have a lot in common. However, on NYE I was out of town. We had been texting all day and around 11 pm she texted and said she wished we were together and she missed me and so on. I reciprocated the feelings and then at midnight I texted her happy new year with no response. never heard from her until the next afternoon when she said she was sorry bc she got drunk and fell asleep. Then she said she was sorry bc she felt her heart was healed enough from her previous relationship and she was nervous going into something new. I asked what that meant and she said it meant we can’t talk anymore. I am pretty sad about it and want to respect her decision but I feel like we really connected. Is it possible to get her to change her mind?

    Roxy
    Roxy
    Participant
    January 3, 2015 at 4:38 am #69826

    How long has it been since she got out of her previous relationship? She may feel that she would only be stringing you along and wanted to end it there. I have been in this situation after a break up and did the exact same as her as I felt I just wasn’t ready and didn’t want to mess the guy around. In saying that I do wish we kept in contact as I got over the break up and had the other guy was on my mind then. So what I’m trying to say is she may genuinely need space but you could suggest that you both carry on texting and getting to know one another (eventually you can see if it could progress). If she says no to this I would recommend moving on.


    Bucky
    Participant
    January 3, 2015 at 8:41 am #69828

    It has been 9 months. He cheated on her with multiple girls. She said she would never go back to him but that he really did a number on her. I’m just confused by how quickly she did a 180 without any warning. I’ve respected her wishes and not texted her even though I have wanted to. But I feel like we really could have had something good and it feels like I am just giving up. Does that make sense? IDK if I am explaining that part well enough.

    Roxy
    Roxy
    Participant
    January 3, 2015 at 10:25 am #69829

    Well after 9 months I would think she wouldn’t be completely hung up on an ex. So I’m guessing it’s just the idea of a relationship in general. There isn’t much you can do unfortunately to change her mind about it. She could just want to be single and have no ties. It is a bit strange doing a complete 180 I must say and don’t feel that was fair on you. The only thing I can think of is to maybe say you want to stay friends and then see if anything develops down the line, but you could run the risk of being friend zoned. Must be frustrating when you felt it was going so well.


    ltcam218
    Participant
    January 3, 2015 at 9:59 pm #69840

    It could be that the holidays have brought up some old feelings for her. Like, maybe she and her ex had a special NYE tradition and she got really bummed being alone on the holiday. The holidays are a really hard time to be alone, especially if a lot of people are around and seemingly having a great time and you’re not 🙁 I know that I personally get into a funk and don’t want to have anything to do with anyone. And then after feeling sorry for myself for a few days, I pick myself and move forward. For now, I would give her a few days to herself and then reach out to her and see where that goes. If she reciprocates, I would continue the relationship as you had been, with no pressure of going out and see if she changes her mind. I wouldn’t pressure her too much, but express your feelings just as you have here and tell her that you think you could have really had something special and that you didn’t want to regret not at least giving it one last shot. Best of luck to you! 🙂


    nycfemaleescorts
    Participant
    January 5, 2015 at 7:24 am #69873

    you have to keep patience if you really want her so be patient and be confident one day she will definitely understand your feelings.. just carry on because I think there is still little hope for you..its because waiting is really hard for someone who is already equipped with the past feelings..and sometimes we expect such great things escaping the reality..


    Bucky
    Participant
    January 5, 2015 at 8:21 am #69831

    It is extremely frustrating. We talked all day every day for 2 weeks. We weren’t able to get together bc of the holidays and other obligations but we both were looking forward to seeing each other when that was all over. In fact, she said she would go with me tonight to a gathering at my sister’s house but now IDK if I should ask if she still plans on coming. My other sister ran into her last night and asked if she was coming still and she smiled and nodded yes. IDK if that means she really is coming or what. I never gave her the address and neither did my sister. I wanted to text her the address today and just say if she still wants to come she is still very welcome but the way I left it after our last texts on New Years day was that if she wanted to talk in the future she could contact me.


    Bucky
    Participant
    January 5, 2015 at 8:22 am #69838

    Ok, this is my third time trying to reply to this! It won’t post it after I hit submit. It’s like the universe doesn’t want me to get good advice. Anyway, It’s endlessly frustrating. Things were going great. We hadn’t seen each other due to the holidays but we texted all day every day. We had planned on getting together after the holidays ended and were looking forward to it. I had even asked to accompany me to my sister’s wine party. She said she would love to go but now IDK if she still wants to. My other sister ran into her last night and asked her if she was coming and she smiled and nodded yes but it wasn’t a verbal confirmation. I want to text her the address bc neither me nor my sister gave it to her. But the way I left it after new years day was if she wanted to talk in the future she would contact me. So I don’t want to seem desperate or annoying but I also don’t want to look like I just gave up which I kind of did. So I am not sure what to do at this point.


    Bucky
    Participant
    January 5, 2015 at 8:22 am #69870

    So she called me yesterday afternoon to reiterate her feelings of not wanting to talk or see each other. I told her I would respect her wishes if that’s what she wanted. She said she is just an emotional wreck right now and she doesn’t want to project any of that onto me. I said I understood. But then later that night she texted me and we ended up texting into the morning. Then we made plans to hang out today which we did all afternoon. It was pretty great. She told me she thinks the world of me and that she had such a great and fun and relaxing time with me. We didn’t hold hands or anything and I didn’t try to kiss her at the end bc I felt if she was still feeling confused I didn’t want to add to that. But we continued to chat the rest of the night via text. It feels like it’s heading in the right direction but I am not sure if I am supposed to make any kind of move like a kiss or hug or hand hold in lieu of her previous feelings. I want to! But I don’t want to disrespect.