Need advice on dating/becoming closer to a traditional girl

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Need advice on dating/becoming closer to a traditional girl

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    shaselai
    Participant
    July 31, 2014 at 1:01 am #58616
    Need advice on dating/becoming closer to a traditional girl

    I met this girl on match.com and ironically we actually met in a nearby gym a few times so she agreed to meet me for first meeting which i generally dont really call it a date. We are maybe 8 years apart (i am older) but I nor her nor her sister (her parents are back in her home country) is worried about it. We subsequently went out 2 more times second time to the movies (i know….) and dinner and today to a rec center playing mini golf and walked around then dinner. During dinner she asked me what type of girl i am looking for in a woman and i just told her some characteristics i felt important but ultimately told her being together more will really show whether the other is compatible or not to which she agrees.

    She says her relationship always started from being longtime friends then somehow it got into dating and going directly into dating with a “stranger” like me is her first time doing it.


    shaselai
    Participant
    July 31, 2014 at 1:07 am #58617

    She did emphasize on taking it slow and say she is pretty traditional and kissing is “a bit down the line” and is reserved for girlfriend/boyfriend relationship and we are not there yet (understandably) and she is still trying to learn more about me and her feelings before anything else happens.

    I did tell her i wanted to express me liking her but she says that i dont need to be too expressive and she believes in things happening naturally and right now she feels we get along great and thinks there’s definitely a chance to develop into something more as we get to know eachother better.

    My questions are:
    1. what should i do in terms of getting to the boyfriend/girlfriend part with a more traditional girl like her? I think she would really be putoff if i tried to surprise kiss her – we did hug when i walked her to her door though.
    2. is there anything i could do or to express without being physical?
    3. How long should I give her to gauge us before asking her to be girlfriend?

    Steven
    Steven
    Participant
    July 31, 2014 at 2:39 am #58618

    Good morning shaselai

    You sound ready to get to that boyfriend/girlfriend stage right now! First I want to acknowledge how thoughtful you’re being to consider her perspective. You obviously want this to move forward and you’re looking for an approach that will bring success.

    She has said she doesn’t want to talk about mushy stuff and she wants to be “traditional.” That’s fine. Give her some space to get to know you. Do not attempt the surprise kiss. Abide by the “hugs only rule” but once in a while touch her hand, thigh (if she’s sitting) or back when showing or explaining something – just to maintain a physical connection. If she truly senses your feelings for her then she will also feel your restraint and respect for her wishes. At some point she will indicate she is ready to become more than friends.

    The length of time is arbitrary. Be patient but set a reasonable deadline. Another viewpoint is that she has a possible fear of commitment. Pay attention and you’ll know over time.


    ucsdsq
    Participant
    August 2, 2014 at 11:44 am #58720

    this is a great way to be creative with showing your interest. In order to reach that boyfriend level with her you need to show her how you’re interested.. without coming on to strong. get to know her, do cute things for her, hold her hand… treat her with much respect and once she sees you’re a good man she will let you get closer to her.