Need Advice (particularly from a woman) If she doesnt respond to one message?

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Need Advice (particularly from a woman) If she doesnt respond to one message?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    johnearly
    Participant
    February 1, 2015 at 1:56 pm #72324
    Need Advice (particularly from a woman) If she doesnt respond to one message?

    I reconnected with this girl I went to elementary school with and I’d like to date her or at least reconnect and become friends again. We were friends a long time ago. We’re both in our early 20s now. I added her on Facebook and we had a little over an hour long conversation from about 12:30 in the morning to about 2 in the morning. The conversation was running smooth and friendly. She asked me what I’ve been doing with myself etc.. Eventually I told her it was good talking to her and we should catch up sometime. I said it as a statement rather than as a question. Basically, I said “It was nice talkin to you. We should catch up sometime, dont be a stranger!” She read the message and never responded. I’ve asked my friends what I should do now and some told me that it’s just the internet and you cant take a cue like that so meaningfully from the internet. Some have said, “Just because it says she read a Facebook message and didnt respond, doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you.” (Continued..)


    johnearly
    Participant
    February 1, 2015 at 1:58 pm #72325

    So even though she didnt respond to when I said “We should catch up sometime, don’t be a stranger!” she’s liked my Facebook statuses somewhat frequently since then. Which makes me think, if she was creeped out that I asked her to hang out, why would she still associate herself with me? Why would she still be liking my facebook statuses? Maybe she wasnt creeped out or maybe she wasnt totally disinterested?

    Should I start another conversation with her? Personally, if there was a girl who I thought might be interested in me and I had no interest in her at all, I wouldnt associate with her at all. I wouldn’t Like or Comment any of her statuses. The fact that she’s liked some of my statuses makes me think that she’s not “creeped” out by me. What are your opinions? Should I have a normal conversation with her and after a few conversations, maybe ask for her number? I’m just so self-conscience about coming off as a weirdo/freak. And I’m worried about getting shot down.


    nea
    Participant
    February 2, 2015 at 6:04 am #72349

    i think if you dont try youl never know….what have you got to lose? she wasnt really a part of your life a few days ago and the worst that can happen is that she remains a stranger. in fact that is what WILL happen if you dont act…

    and youre right, if i wanted to have nothing to do with a guy id definitely not like his stuff online for sure… i WOULD like it if i was trying to stay visible to him…

    what you should do is strike up a casual conversation : ‘hey whats happening…so i was thinking of catching (insert movie name) tomorrow or dayafter and all my friends have seen it already. ive been way caught up with work (school?)… you want to rescue me from being the only lame-ass dude at the theater alone by coming with?! i promise to feed you !!”

    or something like that. keep it cool and casual and fun. nothing too heavy mate!


    toomuchangst
    Participant
    February 2, 2015 at 11:42 am #72380

    I agree with Nea. I have had a few men message me with some socialization suggestions. I didn’t find it creepy it all, even the ones I chose not to accept. If worded casually enough, it’s not fatal.

    If she doesn’t respond to a message where you specifically mention a day/time, then it will tell you at least two things:
    -She is not interested.
    -She is not polite and you may be better off not pursuing this person further.

    If she declines and gives a valid reason and suggests another thought, then accept that as positive feedback.


    Helensamuel
    Participant
    February 2, 2015 at 12:15 pm #72385

    I hope you can find the love of your life!


    summer_girl
    Participant
    February 2, 2015 at 2:36 pm #72411

    If she wasn’t interested in hanging out at all, she wouldn’t be liking stuff on your Facebook–if it were me, I wouldn’t make it obvious that I was paying attention to a guy’s Facebook page unless I wanted him to notice. I would agree with the other responses and say that if you offer a specific day/time/activity and she says no, then she’s probably not interested. Even if she’s not, I wouldn’t worry too much about asking her. The fact that she’s active on your facebook and took the time to have a long catching-up conversation indicates that at least she’s interested in being friends, so a rude response would be unlikely. Good luck!


    mac
    Participant
    February 2, 2015 at 4:02 pm #72434

    the fact that she has liked you stuff on Facebook might be that she wants your attention so I would say to try to ask her to hang out again and if she doesn’t reply she is just not interested and being friendly.


    Gunny01
    Participant
    February 2, 2015 at 5:38 pm #72438

    Go for it mate

    February 2, 2015 at 5:51 pm #72442

    I’d say message her and just take the leap. Ask her casually to lunch or coffee. See where it goes from there. If you ask a question and she doesn’t respond that may be a little more saying she’s unsure or not interested but you’ll never know if you don’t take the chance.