Need advice, should I STAY or should I GO?

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Need advice, should I STAY or should I GO?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Nerdybf210
    Participant
    October 10, 2013 at 12:04 am #40917
    Need advice, should I STAY or should I GO?

    So things in my relationship have been just peachy, My girlfriend and I have been together for a total of 2 years in 6 days. Not bad judging since we are both 16. She is the most beautiful girl you would every think about, and Me, eh, I’m decent. But My girl is just so amazing, and nerdy.

    Ok so enough about the good things, lets get into what I really wanna talk about. So there is this guy. He happens to be gay, Ok now don’t get me wrong, I love gay people, My sisters bestfriend is gay, and I am really close to him, Hes like an older brother, and I would be going to him for advice if he wasn’t away…Anyways, so this guy is gay, and he is always touching my girlfriend. They were bestfriends before I was in the picture. So last year, when we first got together, I noticed this guy touching her, and shes like I don’t know why he is doing it, and idk how to tell him to stop, so I told him, and hes like oh im her friend, and we been bestfriends for a year now and blah blah blah, oh your the guy she talks so loving about, well im her friend Rob, Im gay, so don’t worry about me. Alright, so hes gay and now I know….So I let him keep touching her (holding her hand, hugging her, poking her, playing with her hair) So I don’t know why I let it go on for so long, but then I told him enough was enough. Then all of a sudden its like he vanished. He didn’t talk to her, laugh with her, or be around her. Life was good.

    Then this year he starts it again. I talk to my girl about it, she tells me well he is gay, he shouldn’t be a threat or anything. And I confront him, and he says well im gay, and its not like she tells me to stop… That hurt. And not only that, im getting told stuff by other people, saying that shes sitting on his lap, or he was touching her inappropriately, or something and they both just tell me oh they lying, but then I witness it, and they say it was an accident or something. Im like ok, so this guy is gay, and is bestfriends with my girl, but yet he is doing stuff that a boyfriend would do? Im honestly looking bad, we are looking bad….I don’t give a rats ass about my image, I don’t care if im beat up, talked about, or talked down to. Im my own person and I can fight my own battles. But im worried about my girlfriends image, and our relationships image. It looks bad for her to say shes with me, but basically be grinding up over here on this gay guy. I cant talk to any other girls, honestly because I don’t wanna disrespect our relationship. I don’t even have friends that are girls. Just maybe 1, and my gf despises her. She tells me to stop talking to her, and I do, but then she is over here on the gay guy and I still cant talk to the only girl I know.

    Now my question is what should I do? Should I STAY in this relationship? Or should I GO and find another….

    Im 16, I met this girl when I was 13, shes 15 and having her sweet sixteen in 15 days…Im her escort of honor so to say, and shes really loving me, but when he is around. who am I? im the bf but im feeling like the third, on a bike…. Any help? Any advice? I have so much to vent about, its not even funny….

    ilovefrogs
    ilovefrogs
    Participant
    October 16, 2013 at 10:42 am #41303

    Why don’t you simply confront her about it and sit down and have a conversation? If you’ve known her for 2 years, your communication channels should be pretty open. Just lay down the law and tell her what the homosexual does is inappropriate and if it continues, you may have to move on. If she stops, then she really loves you. If she continues, she likes her gay friend more than you. That should give you the proof you need.

    JojoMojo
    JojoMojo
    Participant
    October 16, 2013 at 10:42 am #41304

    You really just need to have a good talk with your girl. Tell her how much it upsets you, perhaps give her an example of “What if I did that with some girl, even if she’s not interest in me?” …. and frankly, if she can’t understand that, or change her behavior for you, it doesn’t bode well at all for your relationship.

    Good luck!

    candydude
    candydude
    Participant
    October 16, 2013 at 10:44 am #41306

    It’s gotta go both ways, if she tells you to stop talking to a girl, you can tell her to stop talking to a guy. If she don’t like it, move on.

    AnimalLover
    AnimalLover
    Participant
    October 16, 2013 at 10:50 am #41310

    I think that there are specific ways of touching that ARE and ARE NOT acceptable between friends (whether they be a straight guy/girl or gay guy/girl friend). I am not sure what type of inappropriate touching you mean exactly, but if your gf really cared about you she would have enough respect to not let ANYONE touch her inappropriately while dating you. Hugging, twirling hair, etc are not necessarily inappropriate. But if she’s letting him grab her breast or something then you may need to put your foot down. Regardless of this, you ultimately have to decided what you are willing to put up with, and discuss it with her. If she can’t agree that certain things that bother you are off limits, then you may not be a perfect match.


    Econome31
    Participant
    October 22, 2013 at 9:05 pm #41691

    I think you should have some quiet moment to tell her your concerns if you are really that worried. Honesty is the best policy

    helenpaul
    helenpaul
    Participant
    October 24, 2013 at 5:37 pm #41893

    well the decision is yours but love forgives all mistake


    sean7
    Participant
    October 27, 2013 at 10:58 pm #41971

    You’re 16, so the first thing I’d like to remind you of is that she is not the only girl you will ever meet and if things, for whatever reason, not just this reason, don’t work out, you will not be alone forever. Far too many guys tend to fall into the “I can’t leave her, I’ll be alone!” mindset. Don’t be that.
    You need to understand that a relationship of 2 years should have good communication. If you feel that you are unable to talk to to her about your feelings about the situation because she won’t take you seriously or doesn’t change something that makes you upset, then, I hate to say it, but you may be better off on your own for a bit. I do not encourage anyone to stay in something that they have to deal with emotional pain to be in.
    But do not make the decision now. You need to have another serious talk with her. I suggest that you appeal to her sense of reason and to her emotions, ask her how she’d feel if a lesbian was doing those things with you. Decide then.


    RW50
    Participant
    October 28, 2013 at 1:25 pm #42019

    You should go. She’s not being honest.

    JianGeGe
    JianGeGe
    Participant
    November 1, 2013 at 6:27 am #42286
    Reply To: Need advice, should I STAY or should I GO?

    The problem as it seems to me is that there is not enough respect shown for your feelings. Whether intentionally or not, they are not taking your considerations into account, and you do not to get it across to them that what they are doing makes you uncomfortable, and if they truly do have the best intentions in regards to you, they’ll understand why that is so.


    Newbie22
    Participant
    November 3, 2013 at 1:28 pm #42384
    Reply To: Need advice, should I STAY or should I GO?

    Being honest is one of the important factors


    ChuChuTrick
    Participant
    November 9, 2013 at 12:50 pm #42655
    Reply To: Need advice, should I STAY or should I GO?

    Sounds like you need to be honest with her about how you feel, ask her if she’ll talk to him about being less touchy, if she does and it stops, you’re golden…if not, I’d consider moving on.