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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    hgreen
    hgreen
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 6:15 pm #69637
    Need help

    Hello everyone i am new here. I have an issue with my relationship. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and shes about to turn 21. She drinks on occasion but now since her and her friends are all turning 21 they all want to have parties and get wasted and i have strong feelings against drinking period. I watched my uncle throw his life away on alcohol and every time my girlfriend drinks i get mad at her because i cant stand it. I told her about it and she says its fun for her and that i shouldn’t stop her but i continued to tell her i catch these mini emotional and nervous breakdowns and they weren’t that bad but their starting to tear me apart now that her and her friends are all trying to get wasted since their turning 21. I really love her and i see what my life can be with her but i cant deal with the drinking at all. I honestly don’t want to break up with her but it seems like she doesn’t want to make the sacrifice to stop and i dont know what to do. Please help

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 11:12 pm #69638

    Oh man, this is really tough. I guess what I need to find out is ultimately how you feel about drinking at all and what the frequency of her drinking is. You mentioned that she drinks on occasion (I as well do this; very limited amounts), and I got the impression that you could handle that. What seems to be concerning you is the fear of doing it excessively. As a 23 year old and somebody who has experienced being 21, I think it’s a natural event for people to want to drink being as it is a new found “freedom” or “privilege”. If the issue is drinking all together, then you may certainly have a problem. However, if it’s fear that it will lead to a lot of drinking and possibly alcoholism, I think the issue comes down to trust.

    You have a right to worry, and you definitely should. But I think it’s important that she gets a chance to grow and experience things too. Ask yourself: is this a young girl wanting to experience new things or is this a legitimate problem down the road.


    help10941
    Participant
    December 27, 2014 at 11:31 pm #69657

    In my experience people start drinking far less after 22 ish. Id wait and see if its a real problem or just college experimentation I think.