Need help, very confused.

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Need help, very confused.

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    hk416
    Participant
    November 2, 2014 at 8:32 am #66959
    Need help, very confused.

    I have been left by every single girl I’ve talked to, not mecessarily dated, but talked to. I assume it’s because I’m the nice guy, and they all left for the mean guys (one even left for a guy that ended up peeing on her after he got drunk and she STILL stayed with him) anyways, after all of that, along with my mother leaving my father short thereafter the last girl that left me, I told myself I’m done, unless something special happens. Well, that something special did happen. A few months later (and a long story later) this one girl I didn’t have any attraction towards to begin with, started talking and she slowly grinder away at the shell I made for myself and actually convinced me to like her and date her. So we did, things were amazing. But being as my parents had just gotten separated along with my rocky past, I mistakenly brought it into our relationship and would ask her if she really loved me every now and then, along with trying to be with her too often, because


    hk416
    Participant
    November 2, 2014 at 8:38 am #66960

    Pt2: of all the negativity in my life. With that being said, I got a little sad when I couldn’t come see her one time and she said she wanted to take a break for a month to see if she really loved me. She has also had a bad past with guys cheating on her and cussing her out and generally being mean to her, none of which I did. I just mistakenly brought my broken heart into our relationship. She even told me she was the best boyfriend she’s had and that she never wants to lose me. Well after the “lets just be friends” I have her space for a month, no contact. I then contacted her again and asked if we could meet up, not only did she vote against that, but she voted against letting me call her. So I explained myself over text, saying i had made a mistake and that Ive let go of all of that and that I wanted to start fresh with her. She said “maybe later” so I did some more explaining and she said she wasn’t ready, and then eventually to “I didnt like you as much as I thought” advice?

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by  hk416.

    geminiv
    Participant
    November 3, 2014 at 4:04 pm #66980

    I’ve had similar experiences and it’s clearly more of a loss when you’ve taken a step back then find something you think is solid you tend to bear down grip harder and hold on tight. But as you said in the beginning you were I guess waiting for the other shoe to drop as the cycle has generally played out for you. That subconscious behavior likely gave a lot of unintended cues to your partner. Like perhaps a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Although it’s more of a loss being that you had withdrawn from the game . You honestly need to totally leave that one alone. There is an ever so slight possibility that she’ll come around but don’t hold onto that. Don’t crawl back into a shell get out there and just move on from her with zero contact


    hk416
    Participant
    November 4, 2014 at 8:59 am #66961

    So right now I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know if she really just doesn’t like me or if she’s not ready or if she just doesn’t know what she wants. I really like her a lot and this is the shortest relationship she’s been in, yet I was the best boyfriend shes had. What doesn’t make sense is she gave all of these other guys months of being mean and cheating on her, and only me a month, and one small misunderstanding.