Need help – very confused!

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Need help – very confused!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    LittleMissInsomniac
    Participant
    March 17, 2016 at 3:21 pm #95945
    Need help – very confused!

    I started talking to a boy back in January who is at my Uni and we got very close for a time. He gave me strong signals that he liked me – messaging me first, talking 24/7 and even kissing my forehead after a night out. I took the initiative to ask him out and he turned me down. That’s fine, fair enough.

    A few weeks later we found out that we were going to see the same concert so we travelled to the venue together – it was a 2 and a half hour drive and I drove so we spent ages talking and have a lot of things in common and ethics about the future (we even started talking about how we’d parent kids.. Eek!). After that we spoke literally every day again until a few days ago. He told me he wasn’t fussed about seeing or talking to me any more as I was “constantly annoyed” at him. Not true – I pulled him up on Sunday night as he tried to sext me and I knew he’d regret it in the morning and when he accidentally lost me on a night out on Tuesday. (Tbc)


    LittleMissInsomniac
    Participant
    March 17, 2016 at 3:24 pm #95946

    While we were talking a lot recently he told me how close he thought we were and that I could tell him anything and responded with “I love you too” to a casual “haha, I love you” after he said something a bit blonde.. Like, if I didn’t text him back in good time he’d snapchat me to get my attention… And now he’s just u turned like this. I don’t talk to people every day and don’t really do so in a relationship, I’d like to think they have something better to do in their lives to talk to me so I’m grateful when they do (and the same goes for me) and e knows that.. I’m seriously confused about this all. Considering giving him the Easter break to cool off and miss me maybe, as he is still in the possession of my guitar it gives me the excuse to talk to him in a few weeks… Any advice from what this means from a guy?


    Un1c0rnOfL0v3
    Participant
    March 17, 2016 at 3:31 pm #95950

    Well , IMO hes definitely into you and not just because of your looks if you had real intimate chats already , so yeah talking to him to get to know him even better is probably a good idea and he might want that as well .


    tesslap
    Participant
    March 17, 2016 at 10:52 pm #95986

    Since he initially rejected you asking him out, maybe he doesn’t want a relationship but wants to get to know you? He obviously likes you as a friend at the least, but if he respected you, he wouldn’t try anything sexual. I would just see where things go and not put too much thought into it.


    LittleMissInsomniac
    Participant
    March 18, 2016 at 8:47 am #95952

    Well , IMO hes definitely into you and not just because of your looks if you had real intimate chats already , so yeah talking to him to get to know him even better is probably a good idea and he might want that as well .

    As previously stated he’s just randomly stopped talking to me, claiming that I’m “annoyed with him all the time” (when I’m really not – outlined in main post) – and I’m at a loss. I thought he was in to me as well but I don’t know. I’m super confused!


    LittleMissInsomniac
    Participant
    March 18, 2016 at 8:48 am #95956

    As stated previously in the body of my query, he’s randomly stopped talking to me saying that I’m “annoyed at him all the time” (which isn’t true, explanation above)… So confused, as I thought there was something there as well!


    bumblebee35
    Participant
    March 18, 2016 at 1:38 pm #96050

    I think you should give him some time to cool off. Like over the easter break would be great. Then you can maybe “arrange” to get together but with friends. By hanging out in larger group of friends, you will find it easier to break the ice with him and it allows you a fresh new perspective when you talk to him. I think the possibility for you and him is good, as he seems to enjoy having conversation with (as shown by his constant texts before)


    LittleMissInsomniac
    Participant
    March 22, 2016 at 6:36 pm #96230

    Thank you, bumblebee35!


    Jessica1995
    Participant
    March 24, 2016 at 9:15 pm #96463

    It sounds like he was really into you but then couldn’t handle you not wanting to sext him and to me that sounds like someone who may not always be the nicest guy. It also sounds like he’s a little hot and cold. It kind of sounds like he’s into you but wants things to be on his terms not yours (so when you take the initiative and ask him out it’s not on his terms so he says no). The most important question I think is whether you’re into him? Is he worth your time?


    LittleMissInsomniac
    Participant
    March 27, 2016 at 2:50 pm #96574
    Reply To: Need help – very confused!

    You’ve summed him up pretty well, Jessica1995! I am very much in to him. Taking time out to reflect the past week or so on the situation I feel I can see past his indecisiveness and need for control as over time I’ve become good at dealing with these types of people and feel I’d would be able to cope. He has brought more joy to my life than anything else and I think he’d be very much worth my time… Just need to work out how to play this one on “his terms” as it were! Any suggestions? Thank you!