Need mostly mens advice please

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Need mostly mens advice please

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    February 2, 2015 at 6:11 pm #72443
    Need mostly mens advice please

    I met this guy on a dating site. We started texting all the time. Then we started skyping and would talk for hours at a time. We would text all day long. He would say how crazy it was that it felt so natural and comfortable talking to me and I felt the same. We live in different towns a few hours away. He told me within the first week he wasn’t looking for casual, he was looking for something serious and so was I. Two weekends in a row one of us has come to visit the other and its been perfect. We talked about what we were doing and we both agreed we were excited about where it was going but we weren’t going to rush anything. We planned that one of us would visit pretty much every weekend. Well, last week he had a lot of stress at work (he quit but will be there until may) . I tried to make light of the situation, give advise, and he just seemed to close off. Finally I texted and said I didn’t know what to do. That I wanted to be supportive of what he was going through but….

    February 2, 2015 at 6:15 pm #72444

    Continued…. Didn’t want to bother him. Then I said “I’m not sure what you’re wanting right now so just throwing it out there” I think he took “what you’re wanting” in regards to our relationship and not how I meant it. He said “Not to be a dick but just leave me alone for a bit. I know me,pretty well and pressue will just piss me off or make me run”. I told him I appreciated him being honest and to know I was here for him. Its been 3 days and I haven’t heard a word from him. What do I do now?

    dreamer
    dreamer
    Participant
    February 3, 2015 at 6:28 am #72460

    reply from a guy (wish they had some icons etc. to be able to tell without typing it in)

    he may have taken the “not sure what he’s wanting right now” in the wrong sense, so probably you should clarify that.
    after that’s done…
    sounds like he’s just having problems with his job, hopefully not with you, so…
    first thing he needs now is a new job.
    staying till May, why? no point in continuing at a job that he’s quite upset with.
    since both of you are serious, now is the best time for him to find a new job in “your” town 🙂
    hopefully he wont be one of those guys who lives off his girlfriend and doesn’t do anything with his own career, so be careful about that.


    1charming1
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 3:35 pm #72679

    I’d send him a text, or better yet; give him a call since it’s obvious that you have his number and have already met. Can’t understand why he is working till May if he has quit. If you can have a conversation either in person or on phone to clarify what you meant would be best. However, if you can’t; I would carefully and tactfully draft a text message to him clarifying what you meant. It is difficult to get things across through texting, I’m not a big fan of it; even though the world has come to it. If you send a message, let it go at that and wait for his reply…..as hard as that sounds. I know from first hand experience that sending a message and not know what or if it is recieved is a tuff thing and we live in a cruel world at times. No matter who it is or what it is, I’m one that always prides myself on getting back to others in a timely manner. I do think the way he sent you a message to leave him alone was very rude and out of place. That is something you should also ponder on and think about. No matter how hard someone has it, if another person is attempting to show compassion and understanding; there is no room for rudeness. If that person is that moody, imagine what a full blown relationship would be like with them. In a way, I think he owes you an appology for that message.


    hockeyguy79
    Participant
    February 5, 2015 at 8:40 pm #72704

    Texting and emails are extremely easy to be misinterpreted, especially when someone is upset or stressed out. I’m guessing he read your message in a very wrong way and reacted without thinking or questioning it. I would wait until he’s not working, the weekend if he’s a M-F person and try calling him. If he doesn’t pickup then I’d leave a message saying something along the lines of you’re thinking about him and are there to talk when he’s ready.
    I wouldn’t push it beyond that, and once he calms down he’ll call you back and you guys can talk out the misunderstanding.

    As for the job, I have seen scenarios like this in my field where a project is discontinued before it’s even finished. So the team will basically be out of a job after they finish the project. Some stick it out to the end and others leave once they find a new opportunity but if it’s a long term project, it’s a pretty bad feeling to know that all your hard work basically just leads up to your job termination.

    satoripua
    satoripua
    Participant
    February 8, 2015 at 5:35 pm #72845

    When I am in a bad mood or a bad situation I don’t talk to no body till I fix my problems

    satoripua
    satoripua
    Participant
    February 8, 2015 at 5:38 pm #72846

    Don’t worry. He will contact you back when he gets better.


    jay_bi2014
    Participant
    February 8, 2015 at 11:58 pm #72866

    he gonna contact you soon trust me


    cloudb86
    Participant
    February 9, 2015 at 8:25 am #72888

    I’d maybe leave it a few days to see if he comes around and then give him a call, or leave a short voicemail. 🙂