Need Womens and Mens Perspective


Need Womens and Mens Perspective

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    February 5, 2015 at 4:26 pm #72682
    Need Womens and Mens Perspective

    Met this woman on an online dating site and we exchanged messages for a few weeks before sharing numbers to text for starters back in June 2014. After several weeks of text and FB messages, we finally met in August. She lives only an hour away from me in the same town I work in. After our initial meeting in August, she was very busy with her schedule and of course I had my schedule; we never met again until October but would occasionally share text, calls, and messages. When we finally met again in October, it appeared there was obvious chemistry between us and we’ve continued to see each other, but not as much as I would like. We are both divorced and in our early forties. She’s been divorced for 9 years and me 5 years. Through some casual conversations, I’ve picked up on that she’s a very private person. Since October, we’ve talked on the phone nearly daily and we’ve seen each other once a week, sometimes twice a week; but there’s been weeks that we haven’t seen each other as well. We have never slept together, but we have made out a few times. She seems to be a very independent person and has a career. She also has a lot of single and married girlfriends that she does things with. Since October, I’ve really gotten into her and would like more and I think she knows this; although we’ve never had that conversation. Particularly because we’ve always met and done things in a public place or setting. There’s never been much alone time. At times it feels like she’s opening up and at times I feel like it’s not going to materialize. We’ve known each other 7 months, but have only been going out for about 2 months. I’ve invited her several times to my place and even gave her an open invitation just to have a quite time in with no expectations and it’s never happened. I do have a 9 year old son that she’s met and seems to like. I only have him two weekends a month. I’ve invited her when he was there so she would know there was no expectations and I’ve invited her when he wasn’t there as well. I’ve never been invited to her house or know exactly where she lives, but I do know the general area. She has gotten close enough to me now that when she’s had a bad day or something is going on, generally I’m the first to know. I’m always the one doing the asking when we do meet to go out. She’s never invited me to anything or suggested meeting. I do know that she had a bad divorce 9 years ago and was very hurt due to her ex cheating. She’s met most of my friends and got along well with them. I’ve met a couple of her friends, but not many. Most, if not all are girlfriends of hers. I once met her for dinner and one of her girlfriends from work was there. After we left, later she called me laughing and said her friend thought I was very nice and perfect and then asked her what was wrong with me. Like she expected me to be bad or something. I suppose I’m wondering what to do now. I’ve been subtle and in many ways I know she knows how I feel about her. It’s obvious when I’ve held her hand or kissed her in the past, there was chemestry there. I guess I’m wanting perspectives on where I stand? What she’s thinking? Wondering why this is progressing so slow to not even be invited over to her place as it appears when she’s around me that she feels comfortable. Need feedback.

    February 5, 2015 at 5:33 pm #72692

    My advice…. take her out to dinner, a nice restaurant somewhere where you both get dressed up, make her feel special about herself, be a gentleman show her that your nothing like her ex husband, just be a nice guy! and have a chat about what you both want for the future, tell her you like her! Based on what you’ve said above it seems she likes you too, but may have her guard up about being hurt like what she has been in the past.

    Unless you have the conversation with her your always going to wonder what if!

    February 6, 2015 at 9:42 pm #72809

    I agree with Ben101. A nice dinner with nice topics is simple enough and should set things running little by little. Be yourself!

    February 8, 2015 at 8:05 pm #72855

    i agree with both above, however if dinner seems too daunting straight away just grab a coffee and put a time limit on it and stick to that with an excuse to leave from the start so that you don’t get stuck at the awkward part of the date where neither of you know wether to leave or what to do. good luck

    February 9, 2015 at 8:53 am #72830

    after 9 years of being divorced you think she’d be ready to date again ? I would keep trying and see where things go , think she’d definity be ready to date again by this point . maybe she’s just trying to get to know you better first before getting more serious

    February 10, 2015 at 1:51 am #73006

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