Next step? Help please!!!!

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Next step? Help please!!!!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    KittyCat
    Participant
    June 22, 2016 at 10:55 am #103832
    Next step? Help please!!!!

    So I posted about this last week and got no feedback but did end up reaching out, got a little bit of chatting and then we both went quiet again… I met a guy online a few weeks ago and we had a great first date. We spent a solid four hours just talking and he seemed enthusiastic to meet up again. Unfortunately, my horse died the next morning and, although he offered to talk and be there, I basically said no thanks, my friends are coming over because I just wanted people who already understood. After that, we both went quiet for a while and didn’t chat. I asked him if he wanted to hang out again and he said yes and we found two days that worked but then I didn’t hear anything again. I would really like to get to know him better but I’m afraid my mixed signals blew it. I can’t tell if he’s still interested and just unsure or if he’s moved on and I should just leave it be.


    skigirl87
    Participant
    June 22, 2016 at 12:40 pm #103846

    leave it be


    Louie97
    Participant
    June 22, 2016 at 12:56 pm #103849

    i could be wrong but i think he was a little upset when you declined his offer to talk and be there for you. I would give the situation some time


    Anonymous
    June 22, 2016 at 9:50 pm #103906

    Oh wow! What a tough time! I’m so sorry about your horse. That’s devastating and rocks your world. You gave no mixed signals at all! Grieving is meant to be spent with people you feel safe with. A guy you just met is not safe, although it was very kind he offered. My guess is, he found someone else he connected with. With the amount of choices people have online these days, it’s more common than not, to be interested in several different people. It’s not your fault. If he really wanted to meet up, he would have followed up with you. I’m a firm believer in putting out the signals as the lady and then letting the man pursue. You put out the signal that you wanted to meet up again, but he has not responded. I personally would let it go, but maybe you are not ready for that. So…you obviously get to do what you want. If you decide to try again, maybe he will follow through, but I would be VERY cautious. Good luck!

    AdaWild
    AdaWild
    Participant
    June 22, 2016 at 11:42 pm #103910

    No sure what to say, only that im very sorry about your horse


    park59788
    Participant
    June 23, 2016 at 12:36 am #103915

    Less it alone

    eljay
    eljay
    Participant
    July 5, 2016 at 8:02 am #104400

    Honestly, he wanted to be there for you when you were going through something and you pushed him away. As a guy, I can tell you that sucks. whether he still wants to be with you or not, I am not totally sure. But if he does still want to be with you, he will see it as an emotionally risk. Even though you may see this as not a big deal, he may see it as the equivalent of you sleeping with his best friend. All is not lost though because you did not sleep with his best friend and this is a misunderstanding. You have to explain to him how him not being there means that he is important to you. Make him feel important and not pushed the side. Because he may have felt like you were thinking that you wanted to be around people that meant something to you or maybe he isn’t good enough to be around the people that are important to you. Talk to him, you can fix it


    Cam76
    Participant
    July 16, 2016 at 6:16 pm #105476

    I don’t believe you gave out mixed signals though. You explained about your horse and later agreed to meet him again. How about you give him a call so you can speak about it rather than have to wait for him to reply.


    Love Explained
    Participant
    July 16, 2016 at 7:22 pm #105479

    This doesn’t sound like anyone did anything wrong so I don’t see why you couldn’t talk about it. If you gave out mixed signals, talk about it. If you made a mistake, talk about it. If he doesn’t want to talk anymore then maybe it’s time to move on.


    louise.96
    Participant
    July 18, 2016 at 5:08 am #105540
    Reply To: Next step? Help please!!!!

    leave it be tbh x


    NorthSouthCasting
    Participant
    July 18, 2016 at 2:18 pm #105623
    Reply To: Next step? Help please!!!!

    I agree with Love Explained. Good advice!

    x49958965
    x49958965
    Participant
    July 18, 2016 at 8:02 pm #105743
    Reply To: Next step? Help please!!!!

    Ignore him for a while, but yes he could upset about the horse situation.


    JuelzSantana
    Participant
    July 19, 2016 at 10:37 am #105758
    Reply To: Next step? Help please!!!!

    Just assume that you’ve been ghosted. It literally happens to everyone at some point or another.

    He probably had interest initially and then had a natural decline. That is what compatibility is all about.

    Don’t take it personally, just take it on the chin and move forward.

    Trust me, that happened to me a bunch of times before I met my boyfriend. When I did meet him, everything was easy.

    If they make you feel like you’re playing a game, leave it alone.