No connection after one time hanging out?

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No connection after one time hanging out?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    samhopexo
    Participant
    April 29, 2015 at 9:45 am #78036
    No connection after one time hanging out?

    I met this guy on okcupid a few days ago and we texted back and forth all day those few days and we have a lot in common and we seemed to be getting along great. We were even snap chatting a good amount too. It turns out he goes to the same school as me which is rare for me to find online and we met and talked for an hour before he had to leave for work so we didn’t have much time to assess each other. Yesterday we hung out for a couple hours and walked around the mall. He is a very outgoing person and I’m kinda shy when i first meet someone but I really like him and think something could happen but he texted me a couple hours later saying he didn’t feel a romantic connection. But, this is only after 1 time of really hanging out! Can you really think there isn’t a connection that fast? I want to hang out with him some more and show him that this could work. I’m tired of people liking me online and then meeting in person and not liking me. Should I talk to him?

    carla
    carla
    Participant
    April 29, 2015 at 5:31 pm #78095

    yes talk to him it’s ok give it a try this time try to go far in this relation tell him that’s gonna be different this time


    lovelies25
    Participant
    May 9, 2015 at 7:47 pm #78680

    i hate to say it, but i personally wouldn’t push him on it. i definitely agree that romantic connections can take much longer than one date to build, but at the same time, i went on a first date recently and we had hit it off great over text/chat, but i just didn’t feel the attraction in person, and i told him something similar (that i didn’t feel a “spark”). while it’s true that maybe if we met as friends and hung out, i would develop feelings for him over time, but right now all i know is i didn’t feel the attraction and when he kept texting me after that, it just annoyed me. if i don’t feel the spark, i’m not going to want to keep hanging out just to see if it develops, especially for someone who is actively involved in online dating – i would rather spend my time potentially meeting people that i DO feel that spark with right away.

    those are just my two cents, from a perspective that might be similar to this guy. it does suck though 🙁


    JeffS
    Participant
    May 11, 2015 at 9:08 am #78719

    If someone tells me they didn’t feel a romantic connection, that’s the end of it, I got rejected, they said no to a second date. Aggressively perusing someone is just going to make them feel uncomfortable and make them think that you’re a stalker. If he said hang out as friends, hang out as friends and see what happens.


    notyourexpectations
    Participant
    May 11, 2015 at 11:14 pm #78741

    I personally think that it takes awhile to develop a connection, especially if one person is shy. However, since he already made the decision that he does not want to see you again for whatever reason, then you should respect that. Don’t beat yourself up over it though! Sometimes it’s not because you did anything wrong during the date. Some people are more patient than others when it comes to getting to know a quiet person. This is just one guy. I know the feeling sucks though :/. Keep your head up!


    mohflrsea
    Participant
    May 12, 2015 at 8:28 am #78746

    I’m kinda shy when i first meet someone but I really like him and think something could happen but he texted me a couple hours later saying he didn’t feel a romantic connection. But, this is only after 1 time of really hanging out! Can you really think there isn’t a connection that fast? I want to hang out with him some more and show him that this could work. I’m tired of people liking me online and then meeting in person and not liking me. Should I talk to him?

    Quote

    Well if he decided that so quickly he may being looking for something he didn’t expect. I find online dating frustrating for this reason, A hundred messages lets you know less about a person than 1 hour over coffee. Try him one more time, he may change his mind!


    findinghappiness
    Participant
    May 19, 2015 at 11:26 pm #79368

    If you’re really into the guy, then I’d say go for it! I mean, the worst that can happen is he says no, but honestly if you don’t try you will probably regret the decision. Online dating is frustrating and sometimes it’s hard to tell (for a guy or girl) if the person is right for you. I agree that you should try him one more time, maybe for coffee or something more personal instead of just hanging out. Maybe lunch…?


    AJ1985
    Participant
    May 20, 2015 at 6:55 am #79371

    You should give it a few dates. Go out to eat and have a conversation with him. See what else you have in common


    guitarlover5
    Participant
    May 20, 2015 at 11:29 pm #79442
    Reply To: No connection after one time hanging out?

    I’m kinda going through the same thing I think you should get to know him more. only thing you can do is get to know someone and judege how they are later on, not after one date.


    miamiam
    Participant
    May 21, 2015 at 10:00 pm #79544
    Reply To: No connection after one time hanging out?

    thats right, he doesnt know you yet but does he want to know you better? maybe you should gget away from him a bit and see if he shows interest in you.

    Nickf
    Nickf
    Participant
    June 1, 2015 at 7:03 pm #79962
    Reply To: No connection after one time hanging out?

    its really hard to see if there is a connection after only one date, i usually give it at least two if the other person is willing


    southernYankee
    Participant
    June 1, 2015 at 11:24 pm #79969
    Reply To: No connection after one time hanging out?

    You can talk to him about it, but make sure you don’t seem needy or clingy. If he’s a nice guy, he’ll hang out again if you ask it the right way.


    Anonymous
    June 6, 2015 at 4:07 pm #80339
    Reply To: No connection after one time hanging out?

    Sometimes it happens. it’s always best to keep it real, stay classy and move on.


    missm86
    Participant
    June 18, 2015 at 2:30 pm #81296
    Reply To: No connection after one time hanging out?

    As much as it doesn’t sound or feel nice, as I’ve been there, it is best not to try and salvage it. He’s obviously being honest with how he feels and it is best that you know this now, rather than down the line when you may have feelings for him.