No idea how to proceed with my crush, help need!

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No idea how to proceed with my crush, help need!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Tunip
    Participant
    November 27, 2014 at 11:44 am #68262
    No idea how to proceed with my crush, help need!

    Story time: I work in a store and I’ve been talking to the new girl (she has been there ~2-3 months), she is kind of quiet and I am the only person she really talks to. We seem to really hit it off when we are at work together, and we talk all the time when at work, so much so everyone else at work keeps asking me if we are dating. We even started playing video games online together (we spent 8 hours the other night playing).

    The problem I am having is I am getting very mixed signals from her. She told me the other day that she looks forward to coming to work to see me, but at the same time every time I try to make plans with her to meet up outside of work (a date was not implied) she blows it off at the last-minute then tells me she really wants to do something together. The last time she blew me off she said “we will plan something out, just let me figure out when”

    My question is do I just give up, or wait for her to pick a time (I really like her so I can wait), or what?


    Peter
    Participant
    November 28, 2014 at 5:35 pm #68285

    I think you should give her some time to think about it. Ask it once in a while otherwise she would get the wrong ideas if you stop asking. Just don’t be too pushy. You said you can wait so be patient.

    Good luck my friend!

    srose7
    srose7
    Participant
    November 29, 2014 at 6:45 am #68292

    She might be nervous to hang out with you outside of work because maybe she’s afraid that she won’t have anything to talk to you about. Girls are crazy that way. Sometimes we get nervous about there being no conversation and then we think the guy thinks we are boring. If you’re willing to be patient then be patient. Ask her every now and then and if she goes on a few weeks and still hasn’t made plans then I would either just be direct and tell her you’re interested and see what she says; or you can move on and find someone else.


    Garbi
    Participant
    November 29, 2014 at 10:54 am #68297

    I agree wholeheartedly with srose7 (which is scary because that is the account name I use for a lot of things… like almost everything!) But she really could just be nervous. I know when I really like someone, I like to do things that we don’t need to focus on each other. I am so worried about awkward silences and the last minute nerves I always try to bail last minute. I now force myself to go (I usually end up having a good time) but considering she plays games with you all night – it sounds like she is into that.

    You can always ask her to do things that require an outside for of entertainment… that way the pressure is not on her as much. Play a video game together (in person?) or go to the zoo (that way you can run around and look at animals… you can talk about the animals and find something to talk about)… if you are old enough to drink, sometimes just grabbing a drink can help.

    I will say, doing something like the natural history museum or zoo or aquarium has always


    Garbi
    Participant
    November 29, 2014 at 10:55 am #68299

    been a great date for me. So ask her… see if she agrees. If not, just be direct. Or even say something that addresses you will try your hardest to prevent awkwardness. I don’t know. Does sound like she is interested though.


    MSavino1
    Participant
    November 29, 2014 at 11:00 am #68300

    I say go for it and ask her whats the worst that can happen she says no bt in the end you guys can still remain friends


    Tunip
    Participant
    November 29, 2014 at 6:22 pm #68349

    Haha ok thanks for the advice I think I will wait another week or two and see what happens.

    Side note though when I do tell her how I fell what is the best way to go about it, before I over think, it get nervous and spout of something alone the lines of “HEY I LIKE YOU WE SHOULD DO STUFF TOGETHER AND MAKEOUT,” then after a long awkward silence “……….MARRY ME”

    scottya
    scottya
    Participant
    November 29, 2014 at 8:10 pm #68352

    Im kind of in the same predicament. You want to know whats going on but dont want to be too aggressive in the same sense.

    m47131
    m47131
    Participant
    November 30, 2014 at 11:04 am #68375
    Reply To: No idea how to proceed with my crush, help need!

    She already knows you’re interested if you asked her to hang out outside of work. Girls aren’t stupid. I wouldn’t do anything at this point other than keeping it casual with some light flirting. Because you work with her and see her often she could be feeling you out and doesn’t want to rush it. Working directly with your crush is tricky; you gotta “just let it happen.” If she is physically attracted to you then you might have a chance. In that case keep your cool. Tell her about your interests, what you did on your day off, playfully tease her here and there and maybe make references about doing things that involves dates (concerts, cool resturants, miniature golf…you get the idea).

    Dont push her to hang out and don’t go spilling your guts to her or you’re going to make working with her awkward for the both of you. If she wants you you’ll know it.

    If all else fails ask her about fashion so you can look good for other girls. good luck


    TheMoor
    Participant
    December 1, 2014 at 9:16 am #68277

    Repeated behavior of her blowing you off signals a lot of bad things – she doesn’t care about your time, she’s insecure, or she’s intentionally leading you on.

    Normally your best bet would be to be explicit with her, and tell her your intent. However, since this is a work relationship, I would suggest stop going after her all together. It seems that she likes you as a friend to pass the time with.