No longer interested or just stressed?

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No longer interested or just stressed?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2017 at 9:53 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    jcqlnky
    jcqlnky
    Participant
    October 1, 2017 at 11:26 am #151056
    No longer interested or just stressed?

    This is going to be long-winded as I don’t want to leave anything out, so bear with me!

    This man (I’ll call him S) and I met through work, and have been good friends for going on two years. When we met he was newly engaged/ soon to be married so even though I was attracted to him I never pursued anything beyond friendship. Fast forward to June of this year, and he is getting divorced (due to major relationship issues, not infidelity or anything of that sort; she just really changed and they were both no longer happy).

    I was newly single as well (broke up with my boyfriend), and we started hanging out more as his ex had moved back home and he was adjusting to living alone again/ wanted someone to go see movies and have dinner with. I was (at the time) talking with someone long-distance and would vent to S not hearing back from him/ etc. and S mentioned that he was talking with someone back home for him that he had always had a thing for but the timing was never right. (cont. in cmnt)

    jcqlnky
    jcqlnky
    Participant
    October 1, 2017 at 11:27 am #151057

    This shifted to something more when one night I had some friends over, and feeling like he might be interested in more with me I said screw it and kissed him. He was clearly interested back! He stayed the night (nothing happened until we woke up in the morning) and since then I have stopped talking to the long-distance guy and am currently not talking to anyone else.

    His divorce is not finalized yet (will be this month) so we have been keeping quiet about what is going on between us. I feel it’s more than a “friends with benefits” situation and we have expressed that we like each other/ get jealous when someone flirts with the other person. We go to dinner/ movies/ brunch/ shopping/ all sorts of things together as well as stay the night with each other and talk almost daily even if we have seen each other that day. (cont)

    jcqlnky
    jcqlnky
    Participant
    October 2, 2017 at 9:42 am #151058

    Since we are keeping this quiet when out with friends we aren’t doing any PDA but he will always find a way to sneakily touch my lower back or grab my hand (like under a table) or sneak me a kiss when he can. But people have still mentioned that we’re like “magnets to each other” when with other people (even more so when alone).

    As I mentioned previously I am not talking to anyone else, he however is still talking to this girl from back home (as far as I know). There was talk at one point about her possibly moving up here at the end of the year, which he has recently told his new roommate (our mutual friend) that she isn’t anymore. I have brought her up in the sense that I told him he needed to tell his new roomie what was going on so he’d stop asking me what was going on (roomie just thinks S and I are best friends so he thought I would know). He apologized about his roomie doing that and how awkward it must be for me, and said he knew it wasn’t fair. (cont)

    jcqlnky
    jcqlnky
    Participant
    October 2, 2017 at 9:43 am #151059

    He never told me specifically that she wasn’t moving here anymore… but I also told him I didn’t like hearing about it.

    He is currently in the process of moving in with our friend and out of the apartment him and his ex-wife shared. This includes having to go through and get rid of anything she left behind. He has been very stressed and hardly talking to me at all outside of work. When we do manage to hangout (which has been a lot less frequently) he acts the same (aka can’t keep his hands off me in both a sensual and also a sweet/ loving way) but he seems to be ignoring me when I try and contact him via social media/ texting. I haven’t been blowing his phone up or anything, mostly just leaving him alone. I’m just torn between thinking ah he’s just stressed it’ll be fine, and yup he’s done with me and is just trying to be nice about it. I’m an Aries sun/ Gemini moon, and he’s a double Taurus born on the day of an eclipse. (we are both 23) Any advice/ thoughts would be appreciated!!!