No one I like ever sticks around.. What is wrong with me???

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No one I like ever sticks around.. What is wrong with me???

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    carolinachic82
    Participant
    May 4, 2013 at 7:55 am #30444
    No one I like ever sticks around.. What is wrong with me???

    I’m beginning to think I’m going to be single forever. I will meet someone and spend all this time getting to know him, with things going great at first but then just when I’m really beginning to be into him, he will stop showing as much interest in me (example: not calling as often or not calling at all anymore) and this usually happens with guys that approach me first, might I add. But anytime I meet someone I’m not really interested in dating, they are always trying to stick around even when I make it clear I am not interested in them. Why is this??? It’s kind of discouraging because now I don’t really want to get too close to someone I like because I get this feeling we aren’t going to end up going anywhere. What should I do?


    beachgirl
    Participant
    May 4, 2013 at 11:07 am #30446

    I wish I could help, but I have exactly the same problem… Whenever I start to like someone, I think that maybe I come on too strong or let my feelings show too early… I think I’m starting to learn that it isn’t a good idea to talk about a relationship, desire to have kids, how it sucks being single and having no one to talk to… I feel like I just messed up a relationship that was going great because of this. To be fair, he is also finalizing a divorce. That’s another problem I seem to have–dating guys that are unavailable emotionally. I am not willing to settle for just anyone and being in a respected profession, it makes it hard to find a guy worth my time. The pool is very small for me, so when I finally meet a guy I like, I get too overexcited and scare them off probably. I guess in your case, continue to evaluate the signals you are sending out… Guys like unavailable, unattainable, aloof and not interested it seems…I’m working on keeping the mystery factor up and not being so available, but it is hard when you really like someone.


    g_whiz
    Participant
    May 4, 2013 at 5:08 pm #30447

    Men like a challenge. They turn on the charm and work really hard to get your attention because they want to know you better. Thing is after they know you/us better they may decide to move on…that does not mean that there is something wrong with you/us…it means that they did not feel the chemistry for one reason or another. Forget it…this is the way men are. They are not necessarily mean or trying to use you ..they are hardwired for the hunt and they are doing just that.


    carolinachic82
    Participant
    May 4, 2013 at 8:32 pm #30450

    Well, I haven’t been in a real relationship in nearly 4 years now. I guess I should just sit back and keep continuing on wasting my time then? This is why I’m wondering if it’s something I’m doing because I don’t know what is making there not be chemistry so often. It was there when we first started talking and it was there when we went on our first and second date. It’s not like I throw myself at these guys or start talking about us being in a relationship or saying I love you and usually when we hang out, we have a great time. The only thing I can think of that I should probably stop doing is giving them as much attention or not put in as much effort in contacting them because the ones I don’t speak to as often are also the ones I am still friends with but as I stated above, those are also the ones I am not interested in dating. I just don’t get it. ❓


    specs2_98
    Participant
    May 5, 2013 at 2:40 pm #30457

    I’m beginning to think I’m going to be single forever. I will meet someone and spend all this time getting to know him, with things going great at first but then just when I’m really beginning to be into him, he will stop showing as much interest in me (example: not calling as often or not calling at all anymore) and this usually happens with guys that approach me first, might I add. But anytime I meet someone I’m not really interested in dating, they are always trying to stick around even when I make it clear I am not interested in them. Why is this??? It’s kind of discouraging because now I don’t really want to get too close to someone I like because I get this feeling we aren’t going to end up going anywhere. What should I do?

    When you figure that out let me know. I have the same problem. Wondering what i did or do wrong.


    specs2_98
    Participant
    May 5, 2013 at 2:44 pm #30458

    You meet a guy. Text call each other for awhile. Then you meet and spend time with them. Start to like them then it’s like boom no more texts or phone calls. You wonder did i say something or do something wrong. Spend a day beating your self up over it.
    I have had this go on for a yr. I don’t want to be a bootie call or FWB’s and i let the guy know this after the first date. I want more and i guess i will eventually find it


    hopelessromantic81
    Participant
    May 9, 2013 at 12:18 pm #30814

    Men like a challenge. They turn on the charm and work really hard to get your attention because they want to know you better. Thing is after they know you/us better they may decide to move on…that does not mean that there is something wrong with you/us…it means that they did not feel the chemistry for one reason or another. Forget it…this is the way men are. They are not necessarily mean or trying to use you ..they are hardwired for the hunt and they are doing just that.

    I could not have said that any better and im a man. 9 times out of 10 it is not you it is us.