Not being good in bed ruining my relationships…

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Not being good in bed ruining my relationships…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    stephensproject
    Participant
    July 11, 2015 at 10:19 pm #82670
    Not being good in bed ruining my relationships…

    I was in a relationship with a girl where everything was going great. We would always do foreplay and our sexual relationship was great as well. Then we went on to actual sex and I could only last about 30 seconds. This eventually led to an end of the relationship… The next girlfriend I had, I was afraid of that happening again so I ended up getting erectile dysfunction every time, where I can only get partially erect. Now it happens every time with every girl and I get so much anxiety I do anything sexual with a girl. This has brought my self esteem down, to the point where I don’t even want to talk to girls now with a relationship in mind, because I’m scared that when I get in bed with them the same thing will happen again.

    My question is, how do I change this? I know it’s all in my mind, but I don’t know how to conquer it. I really want to be able to get in an intimate relationship again, with great sex. Any ideas?


    sarah84
    Participant
    July 20, 2015 at 8:23 am #83017

    Have you gone to the doctor for advice?


    Queryfox
    Participant
    July 20, 2015 at 8:23 am #83019

    Yeah I see your pain. Dealing with anxiety based ED can really knock the air out of you. I’ve had similar experience before and its not fun. But I think the issue is that you just need a few positive sexual experiences and you’ll get back your mojo. Here is my “non conventional” advice to you and I hope you take it well: I don’t know where you should try to have sex with prostitutes or girls that you don’t really care about (with regards to relationship)…protect yourself, of course. Because you’re not emotionally attached to these girls you’ll do well. Also, if you don’t perform well, there won’t be any impact on your self-esteem or ego because they are not important to you…you’ll just brush it off and move to the next one. This will help you build up your self-esteem and confidence about sex because it will be proof that nothing is wrong with you and that you can do it. With this new confidence you can then go into a relationship with less fear and overcome that impotence issue.