Not sure how to start an important conversation

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Not sure how to start an important conversation

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    booimaghost57
    Participant
    November 22, 2014 at 11:50 am #67961
    Not sure how to start an important conversation

    I’m a 21/F and a friend of mine, 25/M, started hanging out a lot back in August and text/snapchat eachother on the regular. We only ever really picked around with each other online through facebook and just never really hung out until then. A while back we ended up cuddling all night and it was really nice! This past week, (and we’ve hung out plenty of times since then without cuddling), we cuddled all night once again, and ended up having sex that following morning. Since then, he has still been texting/snapchatting me as normal.

    I need/want to talk to him about this to see what’s going on in his mind/what and if this anything meant to him. Seeing as how he has a really goofy personality though, I’m not exactly sure how to go about bringing this conversation up. I want to have it though because I don’t want to continue this and give him the impression that I want to be a “buddy” in that sense, I’m just not sure how to go about it.

    Thanks in advance to all who give advice!


    1980alence
    Participant
    November 30, 2014 at 11:45 pm #68392

    I’m 33/m, and have had several long relationships. I think just being open and asking the question is the best course. Ask him how he feels about you. He’ll get the hint, and if he evades, he’s either not interested, or just interested in a friends with benefits situation.

    JChristie
    JChristie
    Participant
    December 1, 2014 at 2:57 pm #68462

    if you come on too strong, you could frighten him off. when you fooled around, who initiated? if you did, then he may be just taking what’s given and not thinking about the future. otherwise, if you like him, suggest meeting for coffee or lunch to talk about things. start off by making him laugh and getting good feelings going. give him jokey compliments and show interest in his life. after about 15 or 30 minutes, you can mention that you had fun ‘fooling around’ with him. if he makes like it is ‘no big deal’ then he is signalling that he is not ready to be involved with you as more than a friend.
    if he is interested, he will show you _eye contact, open body language ( arms uncrossed, leaning in, smile), and say things that make your heart flutter. make sure you make it clear that you still want to be friends ( if you do) or not. as long as you keep your cool, don’t start crying, and approach the conversation calmly, you should be fine.