Not sure what to do next…

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Not sure what to do next…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    AD5063
    Participant
    June 25, 2016 at 11:18 pm #104082
    Not sure what to do next…

    I could really use some advice. I fell for a girl that I worked with, but has since gotten a new job. This is going to sound pathetic but she and I hung out once as friends and I realized that my feelings for her were far more than just ‘liking’ her, but that I could fall in love with this girl. Anyway, about a month after we hung out she started dating another guy (who she was already hanging out with that I didn’t know about). We continued to hang out at work and my feelings only grew. I tried to ask her to hang out as friends but every time she would always ask if it were ok if her bf came along. Needless to say I politely canceled our plans. Things were like that for awhile but I felt guilty not telling her how I felt so I did. She said she had a feeling that I liked her but that she was in a committed relationship and that we could still be friends. So friends we were. Fast forward to the last few weeks and her relationship with that guy has ended…


    AD5063
    Participant
    June 25, 2016 at 11:30 pm #104083

    I decided to see if she wanted to go out for sushi, and perhaps this was wrong on my part but I maybe made it seem like I wanted a date more than going as friends who haven’t hung out in awhile. She said that she would let me know but that things were rather hectic at that time with what was going on between her and her ex. Two weeks later I asked again, figuring that things had probably settled down a bit for her. Nothing. I mean no response what so ever. I was disappointed but I was just going to let it go until a few days later when I saw a snap of her having sushi with a mutual friend. I was so mad, not that she went out with someone else but that she just totally ignored me but clearly was down to get sushi. That was last weekend. I talked to her aunt who I am friends with at work, who told me that she felt bad about ignoring me and that she knows that I saw the snap. She also said to her aunt that she didn’t want to lead me on. Now I have no idea what to do.


    cristianmg13
    Participant
    June 26, 2016 at 3:08 am #104090

    I know what its like to grow feelings for a girl only to find out she has a bf. If I’ve ever learned anything, is that if a girl doesn’t respond to you, either she is legitimately busy, or she is doing so as a “polite way” of telling you know, of which your situation seems to be the latter. She has even spoken to her aunt whom you know and even said she doesn’t want to lead you on. I know it sucks to hear it and maybe you came to this forum so you could hear someone else tell you this, but she’s made it clear she isn’t interested in you. All thats next to do is give it time for your feelings to “go away”. Try talking to other woman, involve yourself in other things. Just give yourself time, there will be other girls out there, as hard as it may seem to believe in this time of heartbreak. Take care brother, there’s been many men before you to have gone through this, and many more will.


    AD5063
    Participant
    June 28, 2016 at 9:40 am #104084

    Should I text her asking what is up? Should I tell her that if she doesn’t like me that way that is ok, that we can go as friends? Am I just fooling myself into thinking we could be just friends, when I know that my feelings for her are not going to go away if we hang out. Seriously, I am not good at these kinds of things… I consider myself socially inept. Any advice would be great, Thanks!!!

    rasputinsix
    rasputinsix
    Participant
    June 28, 2016 at 9:41 am #104111

    You might have to come to accept that maybe she just doesn’t see you that way. Us men can be so obvious that we don’t even realize when women spot our true motives from a mile away. It’s the classic “wait till she breaks up with the guy and I’ll go in and make my move” scenario. For all you know, she was being polite to you by subtly rejecting your ‘platonic’ offers. Move on. Try not to take it too personal that she went out to have sushi with a mutual friend and not you. For all you know, she probably knew that having sushi with the other friend was strictly platonic. Women can spot motives from a mile away. So I wouldn’t be surprised if she saw yours from a mile away as well. Count your blessings and just keep moving forward. The right person will come along. You’ll see.


    Blindlove
    Participant
    July 6, 2016 at 6:51 pm #104574

    ☝ 👍