Okay to be curious where "relationship" is going?


Okay to be curious where "relationship" is going?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    May 5, 2018 at 1:08 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    May 8, 2018 at 5:35 am #172492
    Okay to be curious where "relationship" is going?

    I’ve been with a girl for about a month now. She’s mentioned twice already that she’s not sure whether we’ll work out and she may call it off is she doesn’t think it’ll work out. Sounds perfectly logical. She also mentioned that none of her previous relationships have lasted for more than 3 months, and that she called it off with one of her exes who admitted feelings towards her, whereas she didn’t share the same feelings.

    Yesterday she asked me whether I’d still be willing to stay good friends with her if it didn’t work out. And that’s the point when I got confused. Why ask something like that unless she considers it more probable that it actually won’t work out? As far as things stand between us, there’s been no negative change, on the contrary we’ve started talking more and she’s usually eager to get physical.

    My question : should I ask for clarity on this? Should I ask her whether she considers it more or less probable that things will work out between us?

    May 8, 2018 at 1:46 pm #172565

    Big question here is what do you want? Are you looking for casual or something that could become serious? If casual, then I wouldn’t bring it up and just go with the flow. If serious, then honestly I’d get out cause she does not seem like someone who is at all ready for a serious relationship. Personally, I would not want to be with someone who keeps telling me that she doesn’t know if we’ll work out.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 2 days ago by  gatekeeper.

    May 8, 2018 at 10:16 pm #172613

    Her behavior is producing a bit of a red flag in my opinion. Are you sure that you want to continue to pursue a woman who is repeatedly expressing doubts about the chances of your relationship working? It sounds like she doesn’t have a lot of confidence in it. usually, women who are interested will not say such things.

    May 9, 2018 at 8:34 am #172548

    She probably doesn’t see sex as an emotional experience and enjoys the act with people she’s comfortable with. I think she just isn’t ready for a emotional relationship at this current point in her life, but would love to have a friendship through which she can still have sexual relations with. Perhaps what is most likely is she sees you as a great part of her life, and doesn’t want to lose you if she finds she doesn’t have feelings for you. The only thing you have to lose here is time and the possible emotional trauma of her not reciprocating your feelings. I wouldn’t worry about where the relationship is going and go with what you feel is right for you. Whether she says one way or the other when you ask her to clarify, shouldn’t have you expecting it to happen or change how you feel about the situation, so ultimately it’s pointless to ask. Good luck