On Again, Off Again: Too Much Too Late?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

On Again, Off Again: Too Much Too Late?

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2017 at 10:19 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!


    annette
    Participant
    August 23, 2014 at 11:26 am #59883
    On Again, Off Again: Too Much Too Late?

    I met the love of my life over 6 years ago the 1st wk of college and I knew from the 1st time I saw him I wanted to marry him.We became friends instantly and we spent so much time together, our chemistry was instant!As much as I wanted him I feared how close we became and I began to push him away & see other people on & off, & seeing each other in between.I began to feel overwhelmed by the string feelings I developed right before graduation and I told him I love him but had to let him go: I had too many clingy feelings to keep up what we were doing!We caught up a few months ago, I visited and wanted to try again!I text him and his line of work is hectic and keeps him busy. Admittedly until recently my life has been crazy too.We currently live a few hrs apart but I just got a job that lets me work anywhere! BUT he just said he’s seeing someone else b/c he thinks I’m seeing others, but I’m not!I don’t want to be a homewrecker but should I wait/contact/ move on? I don’t want anyone else!


    Me by the bay
    Participant
    August 25, 2014 at 8:50 am #59898

    Boy have I been in your position. You probably will be best off if you forget this guy since you both have such a history of on/off and will continue to get together in an eventual relationship that does not have a strong enough foundation to stand the test of time. You also both sound like you need a companion, so long distance relationships are probably not a good idea, besides you are young and there are plenty of guys out there for you still. Take a break for a few months from dating and immerse yourself in something you really like to do outside of college studies to take your mind off of all this. Also, remove photos, phone numbers or other reminders of him from site to assist you with your ‘withdrawal’ process. You will thank me and others that give you this same advice in due time.


    Markov23
    Participant
    August 25, 2014 at 7:05 pm #60099

    He’s poison babe delete this man off your life!


    polywog62
    Participant
    August 26, 2014 at 8:19 am #60104

    You have a lot of attachments to this person, and I don’t see anything wrong with trying harder. I know most people might say to give up because that’s easiest, but if you want a future with this man you have to really put yourself out there. You have to do something different this time. You two already have history and a cycle to your past relationships so you need to do something that says, “Hey! This time it’s different!” If I knew more about the situation I could give you some examples, but you have to show him that you’re more serious, and the only way to do that is to make yourself vulnerable to him. If you can’t do that somehow, then he’s not that important to you and you should move on.


    chaseistheman
    Participant
    August 26, 2014 at 5:12 pm #60169

    It’s never too late


    annette
    Participant
    August 27, 2014 at 8:44 am #60162

    Thanks everyone, for your input!! I am going to work on myself and develop my career and enjoy being young and single for a bit! And ultimately we both deserve to be happy and part of that is figuring out who I am and growing up and spending some time working on being me! I really need to heal from this and figure out some things. I want to be ready to be in the mindset of settling down the next time I date and that’s pretty far out from now! But everyone’s opinions really help put some things in perspective. For too long I’ve wondered and shaped my life around his idea of me and I’ve lost myself to that ideal. So in a way this is really a wakeup call for me to get it together!

    I know I love him very much and I just want him to be happy. Part of me believes that I should be the person to make him happy but the selfless part of me really wants him to be happy, whomever he ends up with! I know I love him dearly, without a doubt he’s one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever known.